De Koboldorum Rebus

Man's Most-Ancientest Best Friend?

2011-02-04T15:02:00.006-07:00

Vulpes Vulples Arabica (Photo by Nepenthes)

So, if the Montreal Gazette is to be believed, it looks like mankind may have been domesticating foxes before dogs:

A Canadian-led team of researchers that discovered the oldest cemetery in the Middle East has also unearthed the remains of a red fox — buried alongside a human at the site in northern Jordan — that appears to be the world's earliest-known pet.

The site, by the way, is 16,500 years old.

Of course, it's by no means proven that these foxes were pets. It's possible, for instance, that the foxes were buried with humans for some ritual or religious reason. However, the "pet" deduction does make some sense: foxes are distantly related to dogs, which were almost certainly the first non-livestock critters to be domesticated (there is some neurological proof for this, in that the area of the brain given over to being a domestic is far larger comparatively in dogs than it is in cats). And while it's tricky to domesticate foxes, it's not impossible. It's a bit difficult to imagine foxes being used as hunting animals, but it's possible (and this is mentioned by the researchers in the above article) that they were camp scavengers who simply eventually "moved in."

In any case, it's interesting stuff, and it will become even more intriguing if more human-animal burials are discovered in the area!

Six Weeks Just Flew Right By There!

2011-01-28T15:07:00.003-07:00

And... we're back. Lots to discuss, including an upcoming Tory leadership campaign in our fair province. Will we blog it? You bet! In the meantime, and just to work the kinks out, here's Aretha Franklin covering (and motowning up) the Beatles' "Eleanor Rigby."

Also, the Sporcle list has been updated!

That Is What You Might Call A Thunderstorm

2010-12-13T18:17:00.003-07:00

Photo by Sean R. Heavey. Click for larger version.

Came across that picture over here. I am glad not to have been directly underneath that thing (not trying to fly through it, for that matter).

2018 & 2022

2010-12-02T17:03:00.006-07:00

Congratulations are in order, I think, to this place:

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...and to this place:

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Why, you ask? Because of this!

Russia getting the World Cup makes perfect sense. The event has never been held in Eastern Europe, to begin with. Furthermore, the award comes at a time when Russian soccer is on the rise, both internationally and at club level. Yes, Russia failed to qualify for the 2010 World Cup, but that was viewed as a shock, where once it would have been accepted with a shrug. Finally, Russia should have no difficulty getting infrastructure together.

Qatar's win is a bit more of a puzzle. The economics of the thing should be no problem - Qatar is a very rich place, and the stadia they intend to build are gorgeous. However, it's a tiny country (this is going to be the most compact World Cup ever), and FIFA itself has raised concerns about the summer heat - concerns that the Qataris have responded to by promising air-conditioned stadia.

In both cases, however, I must say that I think FIFA got it right, with all due respect to the other countries who are bidding. The first ever Eastern European World Cup, to be followed by the first ever Middle Eastern World Cup? Sounds good to me.

Deep In The Kobold Warrens...

2010-11-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

...The Blog hungers.

[Scene: A kitchen in the Warrens. Enter two panicky Kobold Blog-Herders.]

First Blog-Herder: Ohgodohgodohgodohgod - it's hungering! Do something!

Second Blog-Herder: Find it something to eat!

[They rummage through various cupboards, fridges, pantries, freezers, coolers, store-rooms, butteries, cellars, sideboards, and so on]

Second Blog-Herder: Aha! We could toss it a musical interlude or two!

First Blog-Herder: Won't work - it'll just be hungry again in a day or so. Should we fry it up a nice Catullus poem, or something like that?

Second Blog-Herder: Takes too long - that thing is ravenous (you could put some out to thaw, though - we haven't had any Catullus in a long time. Am I actually speaking in parentheses? I am! Cooooool...). Hey look! We've got half a barrel of Edmonton Oilers material - we could whip that up in a jiffy!

First Blog-Herder: Ennh, it's not very nutritious, especially right now.

Second Blog-Herder: Some Millwall, then?

First Blog-Herder: Better, but still - same problem. [wanders into cooler] Hey look! We've still got that pot of snark we made this summer and never used! You remember - the one with the ESPN guy who wrote the column about how the main problem with sports these days is that athletes don't hate each other enough, the column in which he completely screwed up the anecdote about Ted Williams! That one!

Second Blog-Herder: Ooh, I remember that - that was good snark! Well-researched, if I recall. Let's save that one for a special occasion, like next week.

First Blog-Herder: Ok. Hmm, what's in this jar marked "Use only on Fridays"?

Second Blog-Herder: Who cares, it's Thursday. [wanders into larder] Oh, here we go - I've got just the thing! [emerges from larder bearing bag labelled "Emergency Blog Food"]

First Blog-Herder: What's in that?

Second Blog-Herder: A slow loris being tickled.

First Blog Herder: Perrrfect.

[Exeunt. End Scene]

November 11th

2010-11-11T15:52:00.006-07:00

Ortona, Italy, December 1943. (National Archives of Canada, PA-136332)

The temptation, of course, is to try to say something meaningful, but I think instead I will simply let Lt. Col. McCrae take it from here:

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Update: Also, go here and watch the video. You will probably want kleenex.

'Bout Damn Time

2010-11-09T17:10:00.005-07:00

As you are no doubt aware, if you follow the sport of hockey at all, last night marked the first inductions to the Hockey Hall of Fame of female players, namely Angela James and Cammi Granato. This has prompted a mild outbreak of hooting and feces-throwing in comments sections around the interwebs, but most people that I've read seem to recognize the inductions of James and Granato for what they are: thoroughly deserved and completely unimpeachable.

The question now, I think, revolves around who the next women inducted to the Hall as players will be. Hayley Wickenheiser, whenever she decided to call it a day, is probably automatic, and I've heard Manon Rhéaume's name out there as well. Angela Ruggiero deserves some consideration, I would think, and I'm sure I've left some out.

I would like to make a humble suggestion on this subject, however. In the photograph above, sitting in the front row at the viewer's far left, is a woman named Hilda Ranscombe, star of the Preston Rivulettes. The Rivulettes were basically the Edmonton Grads of womens' ice hockey, dominating the game during its first heyday in the 1930s. I will at this point cede the floor to this superb article on the topic of the Rivulettes and womens' hockey between the wars.

Let me close by saying merely that Hilda Ranscombe, among several other female players from that era, would be an admirable addition to the Hockey Hall of Fame.

Eight And One-Half Minutes...

2010-11-04T17:05:00.002-06:00

...And worth every second. Here's Mr. Springsteen at the height of his powers (Tom Morello's pretty good too):

The Omar Khadr Situation

2010-11-02T17:10:00.000-06:00

And so we have a resolution, of a sort, to the whole Omar Khadr affair, which featured successive Canadian governments boldly and decisively aided and abetted in the torture and prolonged incarceration, without trial, of a juvenile Canadian citizen.

Oh, Omar Khadr got his trial in the end. And therein he was given a choice: Admit to being a war criminal, plead guilty, and be free man in a few years, or contes the trial and spend the rest of his life in prison (anybody who thinks the possibility of acquittal was greater than zero is deplorably naive). And hey, look, he admitted to being a war criminal and pled guilty! Well shit, I'm convinced!

Of course, the fact that Omar Khadr was physically, mentally, and emotionally tortured before being put though a judicial process that would give Josef Stalin pause for thought in no way reduces the magnitude of the tragedy that has befallen the family of Sgt. First Class Christopher Speer. Compassion for Khadr does not in the slightest degree preclude or prevent compassion for them.

Anyway, I have very little more to say about it, particularly given the volume of material out there on the case already. Here are a couple of good reads, though:

"America rewrites the laws of war for Omar Khadr" from The Guardian.

"Khadr case: This is war, not a war crime" from the Halifax Chronicle-Herald.

As one of Khadr's lawyers put it, accurately and succinctly, "fundamental principles of law and due process were long since abandoned in Omar's case."

Milk Through The Nose Time!

2010-10-22T17:37:00.001-06:00

Truly, the internet is a wondrous place:

Civic Election Blogging

2010-10-19T16:20:00.005-06:00

And thus ends an interesting month or two in local politics. It was actually, on the night, a bit anti-climactic here - every single incumbent got in, most of them handily. And, while the turnout was still low, it was (a lot) better than last time.

In the end, the right choice was made, at least as far as the mayoral race was concerned. Mandel may not be perfect, but he's better than the other guys, good Lord. He campaigned basically by not making mistakes, and by not getting that grumpy, even as his character, morals, business connections, leadership ability, and general decency were hammered away at by a consortium of shrill, petulant, passive-aggressive, dirty-tricks-playing whiners (yeah, Envision Edmonton, I'm talking about you), a mob whose repeated accusations of undemocratic behaviour were made all the more galling by the fact that they couldn't and didn't recognize democracy when it rose up and repeatedly bit them in the ass.¹ In facing them down, Mandel never stooped to the level that, y'know, I just did.

And so congratulations to Mr. Mandel! The next three years should be good ones for Edmonton.

¹Perhaps I am hard on Envision Edmonton. However, I remember overhearing a conversation one evening at the pub involving an EE volunteer, someone who'd been working fairly hard on their petition drive. That conversation dealt, in part, with Steven Mandel, and featured repeated uses of the word "Jew-boy." Now, I do not for a moment assert that Envision Edmonton is an anti-semitic organization, but one can occasionally be judged by the company one keeps.

AROOOOOOOOOOO!!!

2010-10-15T17:07:00.005-06:00

Remember the bad old days? Remember how, back in Medieval times, if the bubonic plague or rampaging Vikings didn't get you, well, there were always the marauding packs of wolves to contend with? Remember that?

Yeah, marauding wolves. Good thing we don't have to worry about them any more!

In unrelated news, here's some surveillance footage of a completely routine traffic stop just outside Rostov-na-Donu, Russia:

And we would be remiss if we were to pass up this opportunity to provide the following musical interlude:

Good News, Everybody!

2010-10-14T17:25:00.001-06:00

This was just plain heartwarming to watch:

Hockey!

2010-10-07T17:30:00.002-06:00

John Ulan/CP

And so another hockey season is upon us, and for those of us in Oiler land, it couldn't come fast enough given the debacle that was last season. And what's that wafting through the air? Could it be the sweet sweet smell of optimism drifting down this way from RX1?

Well, probably not, actually, at least not in the short term. I've seen the phrase "exciting last-place hockey" being bandied around the Oilogosphere, and it's not entirely tongue-in-cheek. Yes, there are going to be some long, long nights this season. The nights when the three musketeers (pictured above) are looking every bit as young as they actually are. The nights when whichever one of our 523 goaltenders is in goal is doing his best impersonation of a menhir. The nights when it is painfully obvious just how little depth we have on defense. The playoffs are almost certain to remain a phenomenon that happens to other teams.

Oh, but there will be other nights. The nights when the sheer amount of latent skill on this team shines through, and it feels like the kids can score at will. The nights when the breakout passes are hitting guys in stride. The nights when it's the Oilers taking liberties, and not, as has been so often the case in the past, the other team. The nights when it is obvious that Shawn Horcoff was the right choice for captain, thank you very much. The nights when we can see the first germinations of playoff runs yet to come.

So sit back and enjoy - these are the humble beginnings of something pretty special!

On a side note, various sibling units are taking part in the pre-game singing of "O Fortuna," from the Carmina Burana. If that's not an awesome way to kick off a hockey season, I don't know what is! May it inspire the lads to roll over the Flame-like things from Calgary.

Oh, and the Stanley Cup? Pittsburgh over Vancouver. Book it, done.

Pangur Bán

2010-10-04T18:35:00.000-06:00

Well, I did say there was going to be something about an Irish monk...

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Ok, so it's about the 8th century A.D., and the scene is Reichenau Island,¹ in the very very South of what is now Germany, as seen on the map above. Specifically, we are looking at the Benedictine Abbey of Reichenau, founded in A.D. 724 by St. Pirmin, who may have been a Visigoth although that's beside the point. The Abbey of Reichenau is believed (to this day!) to contain the jug used at the Wedding at Cana, although that too is irrelevant to our purpose.

No, our interest today is drawn to the abbey's scriptorium, wherein we shall find a possibly bored monk.² He is busy working on a document that will become known as the Reichenauer Schulheft (Stift St. Paul Cod. 86a/1), which translates as the Reichenauer Primer. The Primer contains a general miscellany of writings, mostly in Latin, but including some Greek and bits of Old High German. It was probably intended purely as scribing practice, which may explain why the monk is bored. Here's a sample page:

One folio of the Reichenauer Schulheft. The chart on the right-hand side appears to be astronomical in nature, to judge from the constellation names. Click to see larger version.

And how do we know/suspect that the monk is finding this day's work a bit tedious? Well, we know because he has become distracted by the antics of his little scriptorium cell's other denizen. The end result of this distraction is a short poem, jotted down in the Primer in Old Irish, which we may safely assume is the monk's mother tongue. The poem is at the bottom of the left-hand page in the above picture, but here it is, in its original language, so that you don't have to squint:

Messe ocus Pangur Bán,
cechtar nathar fria saindan:
bíth a menmasam fri seilgg,
mu memna céin im saincheirdd.

Caraimse fos (ferr cach clu)
oc mu lebran, leir ingnu;
ni foirmtech frimm Pangur Bán:
caraid cesin a maccdán.

O ru biam (scél cen scís)
innar tegdais, ar n-oendís,
taithiunn, dichrichide clius,
ni fris tarddam ar n-áthius.

Gnáth, huaraib, ar gressaib gal
glenaid luch inna línsam;
os mé, du-fuit im lín chéin
dliged ndoraid cu ndronchéill.

Fuachaidsem fri frega fál
a rosc, a nglése comlán;
fuachimm chein fri fegi fis
mu rosc reil, cesu imdis.

Faelidsem cu ndene dul
hi nglen luch inna gerchrub;
hi tucu cheist ndoraid ndil
os me chene am faelid.

Cia beimmi a-min nach ré
ni derban cách a chele:
maith la cechtar nár a dán;
subaigthius a óenurán.

He fesin as choimsid dáu
in muid du-ngni cach oenláu;
du thabairt doraid du glé
for mu mud cein am messe.

Now, I confess that my knowledge of Old Irish is practically non-existent. I know that "bán" means "white," or "pale," or, in modern Irish, "blonde," and I can hazard a guess that "lebran," in the second verse, means "book," on account of us dealing with an Indo-European language. I've got some vague notions about a coupld of other words in the poem, but that's about as far as I can go, so I will step aside, and hand things over to a translation by J. Marchand (found here, with some other translations). Of all the translations of the poem that I've seen, I prefer this one, as I get the sense that it sticks quite closely to the original language.

The Scholar and his Cat

1. I and White Pangur, each of us in his special craft. His mind is set on hunting; my mind is on my special subject.

2. I love resting (better than any fame) at my book, with diligent understanding; White Pangur is not envious of me; he loves his childish craft.

3. When we are (tale without tiredness), in our house, being alone, we have an endless sport, a thing to which we may apply our skill.

4. It is usual, at times, by feats of valor, that a mouse sticks in his net. As for me, there falls into my net, a difficult rule with hard meaning.

5. He points fiercely against an enclosing wall his eye, bright, perfect. I myself direct against the keenness of knowledge my sharp eye, though it be quite weak.

6. He is happy with swiftness of movement upon a mouse sticking in his sharp paws. Which I understand a difficult pleasant problem, as for me, I am happy, too.

7. Though we may be indeed (like this) at any time, neither disturbs his partner; good to each of us is his art, each rejoices in them.

8. He himself is master of it, the work which he does every day. To bring clarity to difficulty, I am at my own work.

A more poetic translation may be found here. Anyway, there we have it. A monk at work in a scriptorium took a brain-break, and because of that, 1250 or so years later, we know of the existence (and name!) of a particular white cat. Neat, hmmm?

¹At least, it's probably Reichenau Island, or at least somewhere in the vicinity.
²It is just possible that this monk is Sedulius Scottus, but we don't know for sure.

Serie A!

2010-09-30T17:36:00.000-06:00

Photo by MJwho

Well, better late than never! Yes, Serie A is techinically 5 rounds into its season, but here we are with a preview nonetheless.

And what a bizarre 5 rounds they've been! If the season were to end today, Inter would win the title, which is not surprising at all, but they'd be joined in the Champions' League by Lazio, Chievo Verona, and Brescia. At the other end of the table, Lecce would be relegated, which may happen anyway, but AS Roma and Udinese would also take up residence in Serie B. Newly promoted Cesena, who haven't been in the top division in a couple of decades, have already drawn Roma and beaten AC Milan. Weirdness abounds.

The oddity that is this young season was perfectly encapsulated by the events that occurred late in the Brescia-Roma match on September 22nd. In the waning moments of the game, with Brescia leading 2-1, Roma goalkeeper Julio Sergio threw himself into a reckless sliding tackle on Brescia's Panagiotis Kone. The Roma player ended up with a yellow card, and, more seriously, a dislocated and generally torn up ankle. However, Roma were already down a man due to an earlier red card, and had used up all their substitutions. And so poor old Julio Sergio was hastily taped up, and then forced to remain in goal, though obviously in extreme distress, until the end of the match. It was all rather... well, awkward and uncomfortable, actually, although probably not as uncomfortable as it was for Julio Sergio, who's expected to miss a month or so of action. Here's the whole sordid affair, set to piano music for some reason:

Early season weirdness, however, does tend to sort itself out, as injuries pile up, slow starters get themselves settled, and talent, or lack thereof, begins to tell, and the final table will probably look at least moderately familiar. The big four look to be in pretty good shape to take the Champions' spots, but the wizened seers see the title moving across Milan to reside with Berlusconi's boys, with a lingering chance that this occurs for reasons other than on-field performance. As for the relegation question, Lecce and Cesena appear weak, despite the latter's early season feats, and I just have a bad feeling about Bologna. Between those two extremes it's a hard to say. Economic crisis and a new, more equitable, TV deal, are in the process of bringing more parity to Serie A, even as Italian clubs slip back a little bit in comparison with their Spanish and English counterparts (the German and Dutch leagues have undergone the same process in recent seasons). Although the big clubs still have their noses in front, it's likely that this season and those to come will see more competition and excitement than there's been in Serie A for some time! Anyway, here's your predicted final table:

1	AC Milan
2	Inter Milan
3	AS Roma
4	Juventus
5	Fiorentina
6	Napoli
7	Sampdoria
8	Palermo
9	Lazio
10	Bari
11	Genoa
12	Udinese
13	Cagliari
14	Catania
15	Chievo Verona
16	Brescia
17	Parma
18	Bologna
19	Cesena
20	Lecce

Geekery!

2010-09-21T17:11:00.004-06:00

More regular blogging will resume in the near future! We've got a Serie A Preview that is rapidly becoming a Postview, and something about an Irish monk. And some other things. In the meantime, have some delicious delicious geekery:

Update: Meant to mention: I've updated the list of Kobold-brand(tm) Sporcle quizzes to the left. Have fun!

Hey, Why Not?

2010-09-11T16:31:00.002-06:00

Come to think of it, why wouldn't one release 100 cats into an IKEA store?

Aaargh! Earworm! Getitoutgetitoutgetitout!!

2010-09-03T18:35:00.003-06:00

For some reason I have a Tegan and Sara song stuck in my head. This is not my default state. Stupid radio station that we listen to at work...

You gotta admit that it's pretty catchy, though. I'm told that Tegan is the cute one, and that the other cute one is Sara.

Yellow Journalism Off The Starboard Bow!

2010-08-17T17:35:00.003-06:00

From an Edmonton Sun editorial suggesting a solution to the issue of Tamil or other dark-skinned refugees appearing on our shores in search of, yes, refuge:

"Lock and load would be our approach."

Yeah, I know, but it happened. A major daily newspaper, in Canada in the year A.D. 2010, actually proposed sinking ships carrying refugees. Somewhere, Captain Gustav Schröder shakes his head in disgust.

Premiership Time!

2010-08-13T18:18:00.000-06:00

Blackpool's Stanley Matthews(l) takes on Bolton's Malcolm Barrass in the 1953 FA Cup Final

Yes, 'til the season again! And once more, we are here with fearless predictions! This year, I've decided to divide the Premiership teams up into groups, based on their rough projected finish. Furthermore, I have wittily named these groups after Clash songs. So here we go (teams are listed in alphabetical order in each group, and last year's finish is in brackets after the team name)!

"Brand New Cadillac": Arsenal (3), Chelsea (1), Manchester City (5), Manchester United (2). You can probably lay down money that your champion will come from this group, and there's a good chance that these teams will hog all the Champions' League spots. Large questions remain concerning Man City's ability to get their very expensive lineup to gel (and they're not done tinkering with it yet), but I think they're ready to make the jump. The other three teams here are long-standing members of the "Big Four," and it'll be no surprise at all to see them clustered at the top of the table again. These teams have no chance at all of being relegated, and failure to qualify for Europe will be viewed as a catastrophe.

"Safe European Home": Everton (8), Liverpool (7), Tottenham Hotspur (4). Here we have the teams that are likely to take the Europa Cup (formerly UEFA Cup) spots. These teams are dangerous, and do have a chance to creep into the Champions' League, as Spurs did last season, but they probably won't contend for the Premiership title. Fortunately, relegation is also virtually out of the question. And what is Liverpool, traditionally one of the "Big Four," doing in this lowlier group? Suffering from major financial problems, is what. Liverpool are actually very hard to figure out for this season; they could rise above it all and get in there with the big boys at the top of the table, or they could implode, sell all their good players, and finish 16th.

"Lost in the Supermarket": Aston Villa (6), Birmingham (9), Blackburn Rovers (10), Bolton Wanderers (14), Fulham (12), Newcastle United (promoted), Stoke City (11), Sunderland (13). Ah, here we have the great "meh" of the mid-table of the Premiership, with no disrespect intended. These teams generally don't have the financial clout to compete for Champions' League spots, and can really only hope (faintly) to fight their way into the lesser Europa Cup. Relegation is also unlikely for these teams; however, a bad run of injuries or loss of form could land any one of them in hot water quite quickly. The mystery team here is Newcastle. They're back, obviously, and they've certainly got the fan-base to compete with anyone, but the seers have foreseen a season consolidation before they once again assail the upper reaches of the Premiership. We also originally had Aston Villa in the "Safe European Home" group, but their manager walked out on them this week, three days before their first game, and that's not going to do their chances any good at all.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go?": West Bromwich Albion (promoted), West Ham United (17), Wigan Athletic (16), Wolverhampton Wanderers (15). No, I do not have anything against the letter "W". These teams must be a bit nervous looking forward to the season, since two of the relegation spots are likely to go to members of this group. Mid-table safety will be quite acceptable, and a spot in Europe next season would border on the miraculous. West Ham are probably the strongest of this group, and the most likely to survive.

"Train in Vain": Blackpool (promoted). Almost dead certs for relegation, unfortunately. Once one of England's great teams, Blackpool last saw the top division in 1971, and have stumbled around the lower flights ever since. Now, a couple of years back Hull City managed to survive their first ever Premiership season, so the situation isn't totally hopeless, but Blackpool's chances are slim and none, and slim's in the taxi on the way to the airport. Blackpool just don't have the resources to compete at this level. At least they'll always have "The Matthews Final."

So, in the end, your Premiership table is likely to look roughly so:

1	Manchester United
2	Arsenal
3	Manchester City
4	Chelsea
5	Liverpool
6	Tottenham Hotspur
7	Everton
8	Aston Villa
9	Newcastle United
10	Sunderland
11	Birmingham City
12	Fulham
13	Bolton Wanderers
14	Blackburn Rovers
15	Stoke City
16	West Ham United
17	Wigan Athletic
18	Wolverhampton Wanderers
19	West Bromwich Albion
20	Blackpool

And what of Millwall, back in the Championship, the second tier of English football? Well, to be honest, their goal this season is to finish above three other teams in the standings. I'll be happy wherever they end up, as long as they don't get relegated straight back to League 1. And they're off to a decent start; the Championship actually began play last weekend, and Millwall strolled off to Bristol City, a team with a genuine shot at promotion to the Premiership. Sometime later, they strolled back to London, having thrashed City 3-0. So that was good, but there's still a long road ahead of them.

And finally, you didn't think I'd do the whole "Clash song title" thing and then not post a vid, did you? Here's "Safe European Home":

Post Title Goes Here!

2010-08-12T18:05:00.002-06:00

So with the Premiership season due to commence on Saturday, the wizened Kobold seers are even now adding the eye of newt and such to the scrying cauldrons to see what may be seen. Last year the seers did pretty well, actually correctly selecting the three relegated teams (missed on the title winners, though, and went three-for-four on Champions League participants).

That's for tomorrow, however. In the meantime, behold! as one of the greatest scientific questions of our age is at last answered:

I've Ridden That Train...

2010-08-06T17:36:00.002-06:00

The Circumvesuviana, the commuter train that makes its way around the Bay of Naples from Naples itself to Sorrento, has had a very bad day.

Another Shot Fired In The War Against Reality

2010-08-03T17:17:00.003-06:00

Crime rates drop in most provinces
Last Updated: Tuesday, July 21, 2009

The crime rate was down across the country and in most provinces for the fifth consecutive year in 2008, according to a Statistics Canada report released Tuesday in Ottawa.

So, great, right? Who, in their right mind, could possibly object to a declining crime rate? Well, step forward, Government of Canada!

Treasury Board President Stockwell Day says the government will go ahead with its plan to spend billions for new prisons, suggesting statistics that show crime is declining in Canada are not accurate.

During a news conference on Tuesday in Ottawa, Day said the government has received indications that more and more people are not reporting crimes committed against them.

"Received indications," eh? "Decided to pretend, since we really, really, reeeeeeeelly want some shiny new prisons to put people in so that we can look tough" is closer to the mark here. Even for a group as ideology-driven as the Conservative Party, this is pretty blatant.

When questioned by perplexed reporters, Day did not elaborate on what information source he was basing his claims, but said he would provide figures to them later.

"Our interns are nearly finished making these figures up," he did not add, although strict honesty would probably require him to do so.

It's a very great shame that actual crime prevention, from the standpoint of public policy, isn't sexy. It requires extending compassion, time, understanding, and often public money to folks that your average cheerful middle-class voter likely finds pretty unappealing. Furthermore, it doesn't allow people like Stockwell Day nearly enough opportunity to go into full Wyatt Earp mode. And that's how we end up with governmental attacks on safe injection sites, billions spent on the closing of barn doors long after the horses have vanished over the horizon, and the bizarre spectacle of the party in government acting butthurt because the crime rate isn't high enough for them.

Another Quick Update

2010-07-30T17:25:00.003-06:00

I am off to cat-sitting job number two, spending a couple of days looking after Benny, about whom I have blogged before. Benny seems fine - he is now a mostly full-time indoor cat, which spares him from the malicious attentions of the magpies outside, among other things.

In the meantime, here's the Noisettes doing a cover of a very early Buzzcocks song (the Buzzcocks are, I think, one of the great overlooked early punk bands). I gather that the cover version was recorded to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martens boots. So, a worthy cause then. Original version of the song is here.

House-Sitting Once Again

2010-07-21T17:42:00.002-06:00

I am currently on that gig once more, hence the lack of much blogging in the last week or so. This time I have three furry ones to take care of, although they're pretty good at taking care of themselves (particularly the eldest of the three, who is prone to holding the other two down and giving them tongue baths.

More later!

Short Post!

2010-07-16T17:51:00.002-06:00

I've got a couple of posts that I'm poking away at, but in lieu of actually sitting down and finishing one, here's a movie of a deer washing a cat.

All together now: "Awwwwwwwww!"

World Cup Toasts!

2010-07-12T18:11:00.002-06:00

In no particular order:

To the Netherlands, for being this close, again.

To Jules Rimet, for coming up with the whole idea in the first place.

To the Diegos: Uruguay's Forlán, for being justly chosen the best player at the World Cup, and Argentina's Maradona, for somehow making himself into a genuine feel-good story.

To Andres Iniesta, for honouring Dani Jarque (see picture in post below).

To New Zealand, who went unbeaten(!!!!!!!!).

To Slovakia and Serbia, who were there, technically, for the first time.

To Müller, Villa, Sneijder, and Forlán, who scored 5 apiece for their countries.

To Algeria and Honduras, who failed to score at all.

To Ireland, who should have been there.

To Laurent Blanc, half of one of the greatest pre-game rituals ever, who now has the job of putting the French team back together.

To Cesare Prandelli, who'll have the same task with Italy.

To the young, skillful, and entertaining German team, from whom more will be heard in the future.

To England and Portugal, who didn't get to play their traditional quarter-final thriller this time around.

To Robert Green, may the leather-lunged ruffians on the terraces be kind to him.

To Gattuso, and Cannavaro, and maybe Buffon, and the other Azzurri that we won't see in that shirt again.

To Canada. One day, one day...

To Iker Casillas, for embarassing his girlfriend while she was at work. And for being the best 'keeper on the planet.

To Ghana, who deserved better.

To the United States, who served notice.

To Tim Howard, who joined Brad Friedel and Kasey Keller, and possibly others, on the list of strong, classy, American goalkeepers, and did so while suffering from Tourette's Syndrome.

To the dreaded penalty shoot-out, which claimed only two victims this time around (Japan and Ghana, in case you're wondering).

To Uruguay. Who'd have thought they'd be the last South American team standing?

To the refs. Out of 64 games, we had about 4 which involved any kind of serious officiating controversy. Not bad at all.

To the host country, which did a spectacular job, vuvuzelas and all.

To Brazil, now on the clock.

And finally, to Spain, who deserved it in the end.

More, perhaps, as/if I think of them - feel free to add your own in the comments! In the meantime, it was a good World Cup.

Congratulations, Spain!

2010-07-11T15:13:00.003-06:00

Photo by Martin Meissner, AP

Disappointed for the Dutch, but if we're being honest about it, Spain were pretty much the better team on the day. And so congratulations to them!

How Did That Get There?

2010-07-10T17:56:00.003-06:00

A quick vignette from the Bookstore:

We have doing some fairly hard-core cleaning and reorganization of the textbook section lately, and this has led to the discovery of some interesting cultural artefacts. My favourite one so far, discovered slipped down inside one of the shelves in the Health Education section, has been...

...wait for it...

... a copy of the Dragonheart Picture Storybook. You may remember Dragonheart as being the movie that managed to suck despite having Sean Connery playing a dragon.

The things people leave behind...

World Cuppity Thoughts: Just Two Games Left

2010-07-09T17:58:00.000-06:00

And that's an all-of-a-sudden sort of thing, isn't it? Weren't we just tuning in to see South Africa play Mexico yesterday?

Do make a point, if you can, of catching the third-place game. It may be a mere consolation prize for the losing semi-finalists, but for that very reason it often produces spectacular soccer, as nobody worries too much about making mistakes. The third-place game can also yield remarkable "moments," like the touching joint celebrations after the 2002 match between South Korea and Turkey (see photo above, and note that that is a Turkish player carrying the South Korean flag). Definitely worth watching!
And then, on Sunday, we will see a country win the World Cup for the first time. We will also see a European country win the Cup outside that continent for the first time. And, we will see the first ever World Cup final not to feature at least one of Italy, Germany (inc. West Germany), Brazil, and Argentina.
Sunday's game is to be refereed by Howard Webb, a policeman from Yorkshire. So, either FIFA has changed the rules, mentioned in the last World-Cuppity post, about the geographical origins of its refs, or they feel that Webb is one hell of an official. Collina seems to like him, in any case.
While we're on the subject of officials, one of the linesmen ("referee's assistants," in modern parlance) for the third-place match on Saturday will be Hector Vergara of Winnipeg, working his final international game. Another reason for Canadian fans to watch!
Finally, nothing at all against Spain (I'll be genuinely pleased for them if they win on Sunday), but we here in the warrens will be pulling for the Netherlands. Hup, Hup! etc.

Some Sort of Musical-Interlude-Like Thing

2010-07-07T17:37:00.005-06:00

Been a while since we did one of this just for its own sake, and a longer while since I've listened to this band, so...

* cranks up phonograph, moves dog *

...here's Tilt:

And Still More World Cuppity Thoughts!

2010-07-03T15:44:00.005-06:00

And we're down to the final four! As expected, South American giants Brazil and Argentina have progressed, untroubled, to... um... the... ah... wait, what?

Yes, this was really looking like it was going to be South America's tournament. All five teams from the region made the round of 16, and, furthermore, no team from Europe has ever won the World Cup outside its home continent. In fact, FIFA had even taken the step of sending home most of the South American referees, since there were obviously so few games left that would not involve South American teams. And now, all of a very sudden, we're down to one South American team. Brazil were undone by nerves and poor discipline, not to mention a Netherlands side that was more than equipped to take advantage of both those defects. Argentina were simply run over. And now, barring some kind of miraculous performance from Uruguay(!), it's Europe's tournament.
Just to clarify on the referees: No World Cup Finals referee can officiate a match involving a team from his continent. An exception to this rule was made in 2002, for the final between Germany and Brazil, to allow the man pictured above to take charge, since he was clearly the best referee in the world at that time. For those of you unacquainted with him, his name is Pierluigi Collina, he's Italian, and he is now sadly retired from refereeing.
Last word on referees: The refereeing in this tournament hasn't been that bad. Of course, hideous blunders have made headlines, as usual, but most of the games have been professionally and competently handled. If I'm selecting the ref for the final match right now, it's Yuichi Nishimura of Japan. When I've seen him, he's been calm, dignified, decisive, and fair-minded without being pushed around. In particular, I thought he did a fine job with the Brazil-Netherlands game.
From the department of over=reacting: Nigeria's president has suspended its men's national team for two years, for the purposes of reorganization, and the French government has launched a formal probe of their own team's debacle. This is fairly heavy duty; Fifa takes a very dim view of government interference with the various national soccer associations, and both France and Nigeria could end up suspended from all international play (including women's and youth tournaments). In my experience, however, these things do tend to get resolved before the more drastic steps are taken.

More Later!

Happy Canada Day!

2010-07-01T16:50:00.003-06:00

Best. "O Canada". Ever.

That Is How You Do That

2010-06-28T18:03:00.003-06:00

You simply cannot strike a soccer ball any better than Carlos Tevez does in this video:

That, my friends, is a perfect shot (it was measured at 111 kph). The best reply of it is the one that begins at 1:09.

(apologies for the dodgy video quality. I'll try to find better)

Why They're Out

2010-06-26T17:45:00.000-06:00

Well, the round-robin portion of the World Cup is now behind us, and I had been thinking that it might be fun to take a look at the teams that failed to advance to the knockout stages, and take a stab at analyzing what happened. Then Italy were eliminated. So now I think it would be useful to take a look at the teams that are going home early. So let's do this thing!

Group A

South Africa

Why Are They Out? Sadly, their only thing they really had going for them was home-field advantage. In a combination of bad luck and bad planning, they ended up hosting the tournament at a time when their national team was as weak as it's been in years. Any Positives? They did win a game, if only over the shattered remnants of the French team. And hey, they're hosting the World Cup.

France

Why Are They Out? Because the Soccer Gods will not be mocked. You may recall that the French qualified for South Africa '10 under highly dubious circumstances, and this tournament was a disaster for them. One of their best players was sent home, their captain was benched, the team refused to practise, and a grand total of one goal was scored. At press time, Ireland was still giggling. Any Positives? Nope.

Group B

Greece

Why Are They Out? They were never likely to qualify out of a group that included Argentina and Nigeria, and the only big surprise was that it was South Korea who pipped them for the second spot. They did themselves no favours by coming out flatter than flat against Korea in the opening game. Any Positives? When opportunity presented itself suddenly against Nigeria, the Greeks took full advantage and went on to win the game.

Nigeria

Why Are They Out? Nigeria are usually among the strongest of the African sides, but they were a pale shadow of that this time around - in fact, they were damn lucky to qualify for the finals at all. Then, in their game against Greece, Sani Kaita lashed out petulantly at a Greek player and was justly sent off. Nigeria lost the game, and that was pretty much the end for them. Any Positives? They'll be back - they're still likely favourites to be the first African team to actually win the Cup.

Group C

Slovenia

Why Are They Out?The second half against the United States destroyed them. If they'd held onto their thoroughly deserved 2-0 lead, they'd have won Group C. Any positives? Well, they did get themselves that 2-0 lead against the U.S. The ex-Yugoslavian nations tend to punch above their weight, football-wise, so I doubt we've seen the last of the Slovenians at this level.

Algeria

Why Are They Out? They were in over their heads in this group, and it showed, as the Algerians scored a grand total of zero goals at South Africa '10. They can probably be filed under "just happy to be at the finals at all." Any Positives? Their defense was excellent; Algeria conceded just two goals, and one of them, against Slovenia, was a muff by the goalkeeper. In addition, they forced a draw against England (it was unquestionably the worst game of the tournament so far, but that's beside the point).

Group D

Australia

Why Are They Out? Australia got run over by Germany in their opening game, and, although they rallied somewhat, it wasn't enough. They also had discipline problems, picking up red cards in each of their first two games. Finally, this year's edition of the Australian team was perhaps just a tad long in the tooth. Any Positives? Prior to the qualifying tournaments for this World Cup, Australia made the risky decision leave the Oceania group and try to qualify out of Asia. It's paid off in spades already, and the improved competition will only raise the quality of Australian soccer.

Serbia

Why Are They Out? They were really very close to progressing, but played terribly in their last game, against Australia. Nerves, in this case, may have been the issue. Any Positives? Sure. This was an independent Serbia's first World Cup, and I'm sure they'll be back (see comments, in the section about Slovenia, on ex-Yugoslav teams). From this tournament, they can at least take away the memory of having beaten Germany.

Group E

Denmark

Why Are They Out? In a weird way, the Danes are only going home because Japan turned out to be stronger than anyone thought they were. However, Denmark were too often guilty of an inability to create their own scoring chances; their three goals at the tournament came from two defensive errors and a dubious penalty. Any Positives? They took good advantage of Cameroon's defensive frailties, and at least came away from the tournament with a win (and scored a lovely goal, for all that it came out of comedy defending).

Cameroon

Why Are They Out? Cameroon were just awful on defense. Their defenders were caught out badly twice by Denmark, and the goal they gave up against Japan was preventable as well. Cameroon were probably the most disappointing of the African sides, losing all three of their games. Any Positives? Cameroon's poor performance at South Africa '10 was probably just a one-off. They will be back.

Group F

New Zealand

Why Are They Out? On paper, they were the weakest team at this World Cup. They surpassed all expectations for them (and how!), but didn't quite have enough to claim one of the top two group spots. Any Positives? Oh Hell yes! Of all the eliminated teams, the All-Whites can probably hold their heads up the highest. They didn't lose a game at the tournament (Ok, they didn't win one either, but still), and the 1-1 draw with Italy will go down as one of the country's most glorious soccer moments.

Italy

Why Are They Out? I could go on at length. In short, though, they were nervous and poorly prepared. The Azzurri far too often looked like they were playing to not lose, rather than to win, and even Gattuso's eventual inclusion in the third game couldn't pull them out of it for all his efforts (* puts away dead horse and whip *). They also never settled tactically; one newspaper report that I read noted that Italy, in three games, used three formations, "each worse than the last." Any Positives? They're hard to see, but they are there. There can surely be no opposition at home to the notion of bidding farewell to what's left of the 2006 team, and there are some useful young guys on the way. Expect to hear the names "Montolivo" and "Balotelli" quite a lot in any future discussions of Italian soccer.

Group G

Ivory Coast

Why Are They Out? Ah, at this point the old "Group of Death" syndrome raises its head. Each World Cup seems to feature a group with three deserving teams, and at South Africa 2010 it was Group G, which featured Brazil and Portugal along with Ivory Coast. It came down to the Ivorians needing Brazil to do them a favour against Portugal, and that simply didn't happen. Any Positives? In any other group, the Ivory Coast would have stood an excellent chance of progressing.

North Korea

Why Are They Out? In that group, they never had a chance. North Korea don't qualify often for the World Cup, and it's pretty easy to see why. They were simply and completely out-classed, losing their last two games by a combined score of 10-0. Any Positives? They hung with Brazilians for an hour before finally going down in one of the tournament's better games. Plus, they produced one of this World Cup's "Awwwww" moments, when one of their players burst into tears during the national anthem before their first game.

Group H

Switzerland

Why Are They Out? Their opening-game win over Spain turned out to be a fluke, not an indication that the Swiss were stronger than they appeared. They failed completely to follow it up, losing to Chile and bowing out of the tournament after a tepid draw with Honduras. Switzerland simply lacked the quality to find a way into the second round. Any Positives? They did earn that famous victory against Spain.

Honduras

Why Are They Out? Honduras were another team that were in a bit over their heads, particularly when it came to attacking the opponents' half. Like Algeria, they failed to score in the tournament. Any Positives? the Hondurans can take some comfort from the fact that they kept all three of their games close.

"Mai Così Brutta"*

2010-06-24T16:43:00.004-06:00

Well, that went very poorly. My man Gattuso played the first half, and did what he could, but despite an exciting conclusion to the game, one never really got the feeling that Italy were going to pull it out. Big changes coming to the Italian national team, and not all of them are going to be voluntary.

Full congratulations, though, to Slovakia.

Anyway, to take all our minds off it, here's some vuvuzela-related hilarity:

*"Never [before] so ugly." - The headline in La Repubblica, referring to the overall performance of the Azzurri.

More World Cuppity Thoughts

2010-06-22T17:17:00.006-06:00

It's either that, or blog about Pat Quinn, and I'm not dead sure what I've got to say about that just yet. Anyway, to the thoughts, at the beginning of the final set of round-robin games:

From the "Hoist on Your Own Petard" files, we have the situation in which the Ivory Coast finds itself. It's simple actually - the Ivorians need to beat North Korea in their last match, and they need Brazil to beat Portugal. Furthermore, the combined margin of victory in those two games must be at least 9. In other words, it would be really nice for the Ivory Coast if Brazil could score a boatload of goals. Unfortunately, Brazil will play Portugal without Kaka, one of their top offensive talents. Why? Because he picked up a red card in Brazil's last match, which was against, you guessed it, Ivory Coast, and is thus suspended. And how did he get this red card? Well, he bumped, lightly, into an Ivorian player, who promptly went down as though he'd been shotgunned in the face, and the referee swallowed the act hook, line, and sinker. And so, in a weird way, justice will be served if the Ivorians go out of the World Cup because Brazil had a player suspended.
It's actually been a dismal tournament for the African teams. As of right now, the six teams from the host continent have played 14 games, in which their collective record is as follows: 2 wins, 4 draws, 8 losses. South Africa, Nigeria, and Cameroon are already eliminated, and it's quite likely that the Ivory Coast and Algeria will join them. And, while Ghana are currently atop their group, their last match, against Germany, will be their most difficult, and qualification for the next round is by no means assured.
Italy have been stumbling. An acceptable opening-match draw against Paraguay was followed up by an unacceptable one against New Zealand. However, all is not lost; a win in their final game, against Slovakia, will see the Azzurri through whatever else happens, and even another draw will suffice if Paraguay can beat New Zealand. Time, methinks, to get Gennaro Gattuso in there (yes, I'm biased). It's true that he's getting on a bit (in fact, this tournament will be his last go-round in international soccer), but he won't be outworked, and his ability to wreak havoc in midfield should give the Slovakians pause for thought.

That's all for now! There'll be more at the end of the round-robin.

World Cuppity Thoughts

2010-06-18T17:16:00.002-06:00

And here we are, one-and-a-half rounds of matches into the World Cup. Some observations:

As you're no doubt aware, one of the features of this world cup has been the omnipresent high-pitched nasal drone of the foreign press complaining about vuvuzelas. Even the usually enjoyable Rick Reilly has stepped up to the plate (ooh, mixed sports metaphor!) on that front, producing what must be the silliest thing he's ever written (I think it's supposed to be funny. It fails). Anyway, FIFA boss Sepp Blatter got it absolutely right when, in response to calls to ban the horns, he pointed out that an African world cup was supposed to sound and feel different.
Speaking of the feel of the world cup, did anybody realize (and I certainly didn't) that holding it in South Africa meant that it would be the first world cup played in the cold? I've seen a couple of matches in which the temperature was right around the freezing mark.
At some point, the US will win a world cup. From what I have seen so far in this year's tournament, it's going to be sooner rather than later.
It's been, obviously, a rough tournament for goalkeepers. England, Algeria, Paraguay, and Nigeria have all lost points due to bad goals. Throw in injuries to Italy's Gigi Buffon and the US's Tim Howard, and... well, eek.
For some reason, I think the match that I've enjoyed most has been Brazil versus North Korea. Brazil deserved to win, and did, but North Korea definitely deserved to take something out of the match, and duly got a late goal to make things interesting. Well played all 'round.

More thoughts as this thing progresses!

Couple of Pics

2010-06-14T18:29:00.006-06:00

So, some time ago I promised you Saskatoon pics, so here you are! If you can't tell, I'd been playing with the "panorama" feature on the camera again.

Here's a look at the Saskatoon skyline from the place we were inhabiting for the weekend:

On the way back home, we made a quick stop at a little site about which I will write more later, and I took these photos there. And there you basically have eastern Alberta.

As always, click to make big!

Roll Out The Red Carpet!

2010-06-10T17:47:00.004-06:00

It's once again time to hand out the Scalies - the De Koboldorum Rebus awards given to our beloved Edmonton Oilers for services rendered during the hockey season just past! I tell ya, one of these years they're going to make the playoffs, and then it's going to be really hard to pick these. In the meantime, not so much.

Team MVP: I have, over the course of the last couple of months, heard and read a number of people performing variations on the theme of "if you had told me in September that the Oilers would finish dead last by a mile but nobody would be mad at Dustin Penner (pictured above), I would have laughed." The man's eerie similarities to Frank Mahovlich have been noted elsewhere, and this year we got to see the "thunderous power-forward" side of that equation, as opposed to the "guy in the coach's doghouse" side of previous years. Despite a mid-season slump, Penner became the second Oiler, after Wayne Gretzky, to lead the team in goals, assists, points, and +/- over a season, and although it must be said that he didn't have much competition, that's still pretty impressive. So yeah, this one's Penner's.

Best Rookie: , I think. While Dubnyk, in the way that rookie goaltenders do, probably contributed more than his share to the graying of his coach, there were nonetheless very promising signs towards the end of the season. He even managed to get himself an admittedly odd call-up to Team Canada for the World Championships, although he didn't see any action. The Oilers will probably have to decide between him and Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers this summer at some point, and the general consensus that I'm seeing is that they'll go with Dubnyk. The fact that he's 6'6" doesn't hurt him at all.

Most Under-Rated Player: It was Shawn Horcoff, my goodness. Yes, he had a terrible year. Yes, his +/- was one of the worst in the entire league. Yes, he's overpaid. But he was likely playing hurt, he's one of the few guys on the Oil who can reliably take a faceoff, he's by all accounts a classy guy, and his work ethic is legendary (this last is an important consideration given the large number of young guys likely to be kicking around training camp this fall). In a just world, Horcoff would be a shoo-in as the next Oilers' Captain. However, this is not a just world; this is a world where Shawn Horcoff was booed this past season by his own fans after picking up assists.

Most Improved Player: After some pondering, I think this one has to go to Gilbert Brule. The Blue-Jackets made him the poster boy for guys brought into the league too young, and this was past year was his first chance to really turn things around. He took advantage of it, with goal and point totals that were by far career bests. There's some question, of course, as to the role of luck in this renaissance (Brule's shooting percentage was suspiciously high), and thus as to whether he can keep it up, but in the meantime it was a nice job by the young man.

And thus another year of Scalies comes to a close. And now, we wish to take you back to a brighter time, the time of "a few games into the 2009-2010 NHL season," when the Oilers were more-or-less healthy, and did not despair even when down 4-1 in the second period. Watch, and enjoy (you can especially enjoy Penner's drive to the net at the 2:00 mark of the video. Remind yourself that that's an NHL defenceman trying to stop him. Even though Penner didn't score on the play, it's still impressive - truly Mahovlichian, in fact).

Congratumalations!

2010-06-10T10:48:00.004-06:00

Breaking: Blind Squirrel Finds Acorn!

2010-06-08T18:14:00.005-06:00

Ok, maybe not really "breaking," so much, since this story is a few days old, but to make an 8-years-long story short, Alberta finally got around to putting the grizzly bear on the Threatened List. Now we wait to see if the gov will in fact follow through, and start taking the necessary steps (restricting access, etc.) to actually protect the grizzly population. At least, in the meatime, the bears can't be hunted.

Some Nefertiti Pictures

2010-06-01T17:58:00.004-06:00

...because this is the internet, where cat pictures are de rigeur! Also because she's a cute cat.

Nefertiti in a box:

Nefertiti, ready for her close-up:

Ever Get The Feeling That The Assholes Are In Charge?

2010-05-31T19:30:00.001-06:00

* Reads newspaper *

Hmm, so, let's see, what's up in the world these days? Well, everything seems to be going swimmingly in regards to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Why, the next attempt to contain the leak will probably only INCREASE the rate of flow from it by 20%!!!!!!!! Sucks to be you, things that live in, on, or by the Gulf! Fortunately, the head cheese of British Petroleum says that things aren't that bad at all, and we should all just settle down and not pay any attention to those horrible sciencey people, with their science and everything. Next up - hurricane season!

And... look over here! An attempt to lessen, in some minor and perhaps symbolic way, the suffering of the city of Gaza has been met with lethal force, thus providing the extremist wings of both sides of the Israel-Palestine debate with a prime chance to get up and scream at each other. At press time, Gaza itself remained more-or-less screwed.

On the local front, someone took it upon him/her/itself this past weekend to wander down to the zoo and wipe out the guinea pigs. "Why?" you ask? Nobody knows. However, I feel strongly that The Stealthy Dachshund's response has much merit to it.

Nothing for it, I guess, but to run a nice picture of a tulip, taken by me. Click to embiggen, as always!

Woo-Hoo!

2010-05-29T15:56:00.006-06:00

Party-time in south-east London tonight, I would think! I'll post video when I can find it.

Millwall celebrate the promotion-winning goal. Pic from the BBC

Telegram!

2010-05-20T14:10:00.003-06:00

off to saskatchewan for weekend stop blogging unlikely until return stop will take pictures stop

The Origins of NHL Trophies, Part V!

2010-05-15T17:09:00.000-06:00

And to think we said we'd never make a sequel... Anyway, since we last blogged on this topic, there's been a change in the awards, so there's a new entry in the list! That, and we forgot one.

First, to the change. Sadly, this season we bid "adieu" to the Lester B. Pearson Award, about which we blogged here, and which has been retired and replaced. You may recall that this was the award handed out, on behalf of the NHL Players' Association, to the player voted "most outstanding" by his peers. Now, we are generally against the replacing of the NHL awards, and we're against this one. Nonetheless, we can have no objections to the man chosen to be honoured by the replacement award, especially given that it's handed out by the NHLPA.

The Ted Lindsay Award: Ted Lindsay (pictured above bothering Jacques Plante) was a hell of a hockey player. In the late 1940s and early 1950s, he made up one third of the "Production Line" in Detroit, alongside Gordie Howe and Sid Abel. How good was the line? Well, in the 49-50 season, Howe finished third in the NHL in scoring... behind Lindsay and Abel.

Despite his on-ice prowess, however, Lindsay is better-known for something he did away from the rink. In the mid-50s, he and Doug Harvey of the Canadiens launched an attempt to form first an association, and then a union, for NHL players. Lindsay's career suffered for it; the Norris family, who owned the Red Wings, ended up trading him to the then-moribund Chicago Black Hawks. However, the players duly got their union, and the men who today pull down millions to play the game, and actually have some say in where they play it, can thank Ted Lindsay for that.

The Ted Lindsay Award will be given, as the Pearson Award was, to the league's most outstanding player, as voted upon by the membership of Ted Lindsay's NHLPA.

The Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award: This is the one we forgot. The Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award is awarded by MBNA America (a bank, in case you didn't know) to the goalie who records the best save percentage over the course of the season.

Roger Crozier was a capable goalie for the Red Wings for most of the 1960s, when he twice led the league in shutouts. In 1970, he moved to the expansion Buffalo Sabres, and became their first ever starting goalie. Crozier played the rest of his career in Buffalo, apart from a very short (3 game) stint with the Capitals, and retired in 1977. After his retirement, he went to work for MBNA America, and the award that bears his name was donated by his employers after Crozier's death in 1996.

No Oiler has ever won the Roger Crozier Saving Grace Award.

I should point out here that there are a couple of other NHL awards; however, they're not named for figures from hockey's distant past, and I don't see much point in discussing them at any length. They are the NHL Lifetime Achievement Award (Current Holder: Jean Beliveau) and the ScotiaBank Fan Fave Award (Current Holder: Roberto Luongo).

Well Done, Mr. Speaker

2010-04-28T17:59:00.003-06:00

The federal government breached parliamentary privilege with its refusal to produce uncensored documents related to the treatment of Afghan detainees and must provide the material to MPs within two weeks, Speaker Peter Milliken has ruled.

In case you were wondering at all, that was an important and historic statement by the Speaker. To sum it up (the full transcript is here, Mr. Milliken ruled that ~~Charles I~~ Stephen Harper and his cabinet cannot refuse to do the bidding of Parliament, period, full stop. The notion that Parliament, not the executive branch, runs the show goes back a fair ways, probably at least to the above-alluded-to English Civil War, and it is really no exaggeration to say that, had the Speaker ruled differently, the Canadian political system would have been dramatically altered at a stroke. So, it was a big day for the country, and again, a hearty "well done" to Mr. Milliken.

Anyway, long day at work, so I'll wimp out at this point and let you go and read Dr. Dawg's excellent and detailed analysis of the situation!

Hooray, Manitoba!

2010-04-21T17:26:00.005-06:00

Question: What do Cree, Dakota, Dene, Inuktitut, Michif, Ojibway and Oji-Cree have in common? Well, apart from, obviously, being Native American languages, they're about to be given official status in the province of Manitoba. Apparently, they will be recognized as Aboriginal Languages of Manitoba, and efforts will be made to preserve their use.

This is a very good and encouraging thing. Indigenous languages have become notoriously fragile things (the tsunami of 2005 irretrievably eradicated five languages in the Bay of Bengal alone), and any official intervention to forestall the loss of them is more than welcome.

So here's to Manitoba, and may we see the same sort of project undertaken in other provinces soon! Oh, and the comments section for the story linked in the first paragraph is every bit, and I mean 100%, as non-ignorant as you thought it would be.

UPDATE: The Calgary Herald story seems to have gone away. I've replaced it with something form the Winnipeg Sun.

Well There's Your Problem...

2010-04-17T16:03:00.002-06:00

First off, this is only funny because Sébastian Buemi wasn't hurt. Anyway, this is what the catastrophic failure, at 180 mph, of an F1 car's suspension looks like from the driver's point of view:

New Fashion Statement?

2010-04-16T18:06:00.002-06:00

Saw a nice gentleman pottering around in the bookstore today wearing a blue boiler suit, which isn't terribly unusual since there's a lot of construction going on around campus, plus the building services people do drop by from time to time. What was unusual was that this particular character had accessorized his boiler suit with about eight cowboy hats, which he was wearing stacked up on his head. Well, one must have one's own look, I suppose...

Well Thank Goodness That's Over...

2010-04-12T17:35:00.010-06:00

The Oilers' 09-10 season summed up in one thrilling image

And thus endeth The Season In Which Everything That Could Go Wrong Did. Embarassing off-season shenanigans? Check. First game lost to big rivals thanks to comedy goaltanding moment? Check. Big-shooting defenseman injured early? Check. Most skilled player injured early? Check. Starting goalie injured early? Check. Just about everybody else injured? Or sick? Or both? Check. Big-shooting defenceman injured again? Check. Starting goalie injured and in jail? Check. Big shooting defenceman in hospital with life-threatening condition? Check. Promising new acquisition injured within about 0.000003 milliseconds of joining the team? Check. And so it went - trust me, we're barely scratching the surface of the awfulness here.

We'll get around to handing out Scalies a bit later, along with some less ranty discussion of what needs to be done. In the meantime, here's a sneak preview of two things that were NOT at fault for what happened to the Oil this season: A) The coaching. B) Dustin Penner. More, as I said, on that later.

In the meantime, at least we Oilers fans can relax a bit, knowing that, at least for the next few weeks, all eyes will be on the playoffs, and that we are relatively free from the danger of facepalm moments. Or not.

UPDATE! Oilers to big-shooting defenceman: "STFU." Quinn to big-shooting defenceman: "GTFO." And that last is actually just about verbatim.

R.I.P. The Man Who Helped Create British Punk

2010-04-09T17:16:00.003-06:00

Well, we've lost Malcolm McLaren, and at the young age of 64. I think it is safe to say that, for a guy who founded a band simply as a means of drumming up publicity for his clothing store and then had that band manage to hang around long enough to record exactly one studio album, he had a fairly thunderous impact on popular music.

And here is that band:

Hey, Whatever It Takes, Right?

2010-04-01T18:07:00.003-06:00

The Oilers are pondering some lineup adjustments...

Gaaah! Kill It With Fire!

2010-03-31T18:13:00.003-06:00

So there you are, innocently suveying the ocean floor using one of those nifty remote-controlled unmanned submarines. At the end of the long day, quittin' time rolls around, and you reel the machine back in. And then you discover that it has acquired a passenger, and the passenger is one of these:

Photo: Gwynzer. Click to embiggen.

I mean look at that thing! It's three times the size of Nefertiti! And its feet - that monstrosity could seriously injure you by stabbing you with its feet!! Think about that for a sec - its legs, of which it has far too many, end in seriously sharp points!! And it's wearing armour!! What the hell, Earth's Oceans, what the hell?!

Ahem.

Anyway, it's a fairly common critter, a species of giant isopod which scurries about the ocean floor, feeding on large dead things and slow live ones. Its scientific name is Bathynomus Giganteus.

For the record, I think it's about the niftiest thing I've seen all day. And I am so making a D&D monster out of it.

Yay! Inventory All Done!

2010-03-20T16:55:00.003-06:00

Many a book, pen, and doodad with the University crest on it has been counted in the last couple of days, I can tell you... And it went very smoothly, all-in all. Anyway, more on that later.

In the meantime, some inventory-done celebratory music is in order! Here's "Devil's Dance Floor" by Flogging Molly, with penguins dancing to it. That should about do the trick.

It's Spelled C-O-P-Y-R-I-G-H-T

2010-03-10T18:52:00.002-07:00

This actually happened a couple of months ago, during the height of the textbook rush. I had spotted a customer who seemed in need of some assistance, so I sauntered up to him, and the resulting dialogue went like this:

Me: Can I help you with anything?

Him: Yeah, is this the textbook for [course number]?

Me: It is.

Him: Ok, how much is it?

Me: It's $98.50.

[Long pause]

Him: Ok. Um, so is there a photocopier in the bookstore that I can use for awhile?

The funny thing was, he was dead serious. He could not understand why I would not let him simply photocopy his textbook rather than buy it.

A Brief Message to the IOC:

2010-02-26T18:02:00.005-07:00

For Pete's sake, settle down.

Two people who probably deserve to enjoy a quiet beer and a cigar.

Although we must admit that attempting to boost the zamboni may have been over the line...

A Spot of Bother on Italian TV

2010-02-19T17:08:00.007-07:00

In the videoclip below, you will see Beppe Bigazzi, a fairly well-known Italian chef and specialist in regional delicacies. You will see him get himself in trouble by discussing, with far too much approbation and enthusiasm, a dish apparently native to the Tuscan region of Valdarno, just east of Florence. A dish that is, I would further note, illegal-with-a-capital-I in Italy.

The best part of the video, for me, is the understandably horrified reaction of his co-host, Elisa Isoardi, who finally ends up seeking mortified shelter behind the salad greens. Here's the clip, and I've provided a translation below it:

Bigazzi: Tomorrow is Fat Thursday...

Isoardi: True

Bigazzi: ...which in Valdarno is called "Berlingaccio," because there's a [indecipherable] Berlingaccio. Furthermore, there's a proverb for Berlingaccio: "He who has no fat kills the cat." Because we're in February...

Isoardi: Excuse me...

Bigazzi: ..."Cat February," and one of the great dishes of Valdarno was braised cat.

Isoardi: Braised Otello - no! (Otello is Isoardi's cat - Trans.)

Bigazzi: (sarcastic) Because people don't eat rabbit, they don't eat chicken...

Isoardi: (also sarcastic) No! Let's eat cats, since there are so many of them!

Bigazzi: ...they don't eat pigeon, et cetera? A cat, kept for three days in the running water of a [indecipherable] stream, comes out with its meat white. I assure you - I've eaten it many times - I assure you that it's a delicacy. So now there are going to be letters and things... yes, letters from lovers of nature! Why don't they defend rabbits? For these animals they're racists! Ok, it's not important...

Isoardi: Let's talk about vegetables.

Bigazzi: Why should we talk about vegetables?

The response to Bigazzi's little expedition into cat recipes has been, shall we say, noisy and enraged, and rightly so. The eating of cats, of course, is not an unknown phenomenon, even in the West, where it's generally considered taboo. There's an interesting article on the practise here. However, in most places where cats are kept as pets, they are eaten only as a last resort, when instability or other factors have caused severe food shortages.

A cat- and dog- butcher in Paris during the Prussian siege of the city, 1870-71.

The Valdarnese proverb quoted by Bigazzi, "he who has no fat kills the cat," in fact speaks directly to this motive. Cats are to be eaten only by someone who is desperately starving. And it is worth pointing out at this point that the Valdarno has suffered periods of extreme privation during its history - during the upheavals of the Renaissance before the Florentines took over the area, for example, and more recently during Fascism and the Second World War. I would hazard that the use of cats for food in the area grew out of one of these periods.

There is also the question that Bigazzi hints at towards the end of the clip: why don't the people who are outraged at the thought of cat-eating get similarly worked up over the consumption of, for example, rabbits? It's a good question, but one with a simple answer: it is because cats are considered pets. This means, among other things, that we tend to view them individually rather than collectively, which is a good and humane impulse. As an example of such a view, take Isoardi's response to the first mention of braised cat. The mental image that obviously comes to her right away is that of the cooking and eating of a specific, individual, animal, and it's no wonder that she responds with horror.

Now, it is true that some animals, such as rabbits, ducks and chickens, do sometimes straddle the line between pets and livestock. However, I would be willing to wager that the people who do keep such animals as pets either do not eat them at all- either the pets themselves or other members of the species, or have a certain amount of difficulty with doing so. I am reminded here of one of James Herriot's anecdotes, about a pig-farmer of his acquaintance. This farmer was apparently a fairly typical example of the hardbitten, taciturn, Yorkshire dalesman. However, when it came time each year to slaughter the pigs, his wife had to do all the work, while he sat in the farmhouse kitchen and cried.

Anyway, Bigazzi's been suspended by the network, not to mention shouted at by a number of public figures, including the Undersecretary of Health. He's also now claiming that he was sort of joking: "Mind you, I wasn’t joking all that much. In the 1930s and 1940s, when I was a boy, people certainly did eat cat in the countryside around Arezzo." And so we come back to the idea of cat-eating as a symptom of very hard times - as mentioned above, that was not a happy era for Tuscany.

(A minor note about the Times article linked to here: I don't know where they got the "in-show" quotes that they attribute to Bigazzi, but he doesn't utter them in the clip that I've given you here)

To close, I would issue a reminder that Italy does have a specific law against the eating of cats (dogs, too). I think there's similar legislation in Canada, but if there isn't, there should be.

UPDATE: Chorus, in the comments, gives us a heads-up that Bigazzi has now in fact been fired. And indirectly reminds me to link to these people!

Time Wasting Ahoy!

2010-02-15T16:08:00.007-07:00

First of all, if you ever want to have a productive day at work again, you probably shouldn't read any further. We here at De Koboldorum Rebus will accept no liability, etc. etc.

So, anyway, Sporcle. If you have not yet encountered Sporcle, it is a site given over to a very large number of user-created quizzes, on just about any subject imaginable. The best bit is that, once you have finished the quiz, you can take a pick at which answers were most commonly missed, and how your quiz score fits in with the rest of the world.

Sporcle, we are proud to announce, has now been infiltrated by kobolds. Yes, you can take, for example, your new-found expertise in the esoterica of NHL awards over to Sporcle and put it to use! And there are other res koboldorum to be found as well, not to mention a couple coming up the pipe...

At Long Last! Part IV of the Trophy Series

2010-02-10T17:43:00.004-07:00

Newsy Lalonde in the uniform of the Renfrew Creamery Kings

Apologies for the long delay, and general lack of blogging! Well, when we last delved into the dark world of NHL trophies, we finished up the major individual awards. So that leaves us with only a small collection of oddities: retired trophies, non-NHL trophies, and the like. Let us begin!

Sources this time around are, as usual, NHL.com, Hockey Reference, and Wikipedia.

The O'Brien Cup: The O'Brien Cup was the championship trophy of the National Hockey Association, the NHL's immediate predecessor as an eastern Canadian professional league. It thus became the NHL's first championship mug, before being replaced by the Prince of Wales Trophy. The O'Brien Cup subsequently saw a number of different incarnations, including bizarrely, as the trophy awarded to the Stanley Cup final losers.

The O'Brien Cup is named for John Ambrose O'Brien, son of Senator Michael O'Brien, who was one of the founders of the town of Renfrew, and who actually donated the trophy. The younger O'Brien helped create the NHA, and owned several of its teams, including the awesomely named Renfrew Creamery Kings as pictured above (sadly, and despite O'Brien's best monetary efforts, the Creamery Kings never won the cup named after him). His most famous and lasting contribution to hockey was made in 1909, when, having noticed that there was no hockey team in Montreal specifically designed to capture the loyalty of the French-Canadian population, he and the owner of the Montreal Wanderers created the Canadiens.

The Lester Patrick Trophy: I've included this one in the "oddities" section because it's not really an NHL trophy, for all that it was donated by the New York Rangers. It's awarded to four people or groups annually to honour contributions to hockey in the United States, and is the only trophy of all of those discussed here to ever have been won by women; the U.S. women's Olympic team won it in 1998, and Cammi Granato won it individually in 2006.

Lester Patrick was a member of one of ice hockey's great family dynasties. The Patrick clan in fact boasts four members of the Hall of Fame, and name has appeared on a number of different trophies, divisions, &c. Lester Patrick had a distinguished playing career in the Pacific Coast Hockey Association, which he and his brother Frank had founded, during the first quarter of the twentieth century (I should point at this juncture, however, that Lester Patrick also spent a season with the Renfrew Creamery Kings). His association with American hockey came after his playing days were done, when he became coach of the New York Rangers and led them to the Stanley Cup in 1928 and 1933. Famously, when his goalie Lorne Chabot went down injured against the Montreal Maroons during the '28 finals, the 43-year-old Patrick put himself in net for the rest of the game, which the Rangers duly won in overtime.

The Mark Messier Leadership Award: This somewhat self-explanatory trophy only entered service in 2006, and was awarded monthly for the first season of its existance. It is named, of course, after the former Oiler, Ranger, and Canuck star, the only man to have captained two teams to the Stanley Cup. In addition to having been donated by and named after Mark Messier, it has its recipients selected by Mark Messier. So far, none of those winners have been Oilers.

The Bud Light Plus-Minus Award: Formerly known as the Bud Ice Plus-Minus Award. Also formerly known as the Alka Seltzer Plus Award. Yeesh. Anyway, this one is awarded annually to the player who accumulates the best plus-minus over the course of the season. It has been named after bad beer and tummyache pills and at least one other corporate phenomenon.

Two Oilers have actually won the +/- award. You probably guessed that one of them was Wayne Gretzky, but if you figured out that the other one was Charlie Huddy, then good for you! And, just to bring us full circle, I wouldn't have a big problem if this one got renamed.

Philistines 1, Common Sense 0

2010-01-27T18:44:00.003-07:00

So, a parent recently complained to the Menifee Union School District (Riverside County, California) that his son/daughter had been able to read about oral sex in one of the elementary school library books. The school board has therefore ordered that all copies of the offending book be pulled from the shelves "for review."

The book in question is the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

To their credit, a lot of people in Menifee are very angry about this.

Cuteness Abounds!

2010-01-21T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm gradually getting around to the last bit of the trophies series, but in the meantime I leave you with this rather odd but catchy song, in which the ukulele makes its De Koboldorum Rebus debut! The video includes diabetes-inducing amounts of cuteness (of several different varieties), before coming to a morbid and tragic conclusion. Anyway, enjoy.

It's A Cold, Cold, World...

2010-01-09T17:21:00.002-07:00

Well, last week was a busy one, what with the store full of people complaining about their missing textbooks and all. I kid; there actually weren't too many hassles. I did, however, discover a cultural artifact!

Many of our textbooks are actually second-hand, bought by the bookstore from wholesale book sellers. I was in the process of re-shelving one of these (it was a hardback copy of A Gesture Life by Chang-rae Lee, not that that's important), when I happened to flip open the front cover. Therein, I discovered a loving inscription that made it quite clear that the book had originally been given as a gift, and a Valentine's Day gift at that. The romanticist in me does not want to think too hard about how it got from "thoughtful gift for significant other" to "used wholesale textbook." Sigh.

So, More Trophies: Part III

2009-12-31T17:20:00.001-07:00

This may be my favourite picture ever posted on this blog. That's Oxford University, in the white sweaters, taking on the Swiss national team in 1922. The Oxford player at the right front of the picture is Lester B. Pearson, who was apparently nicknamed "Herr Zigzag" by the Swiss fans. Click to see larger version!

Now, where were we, in our march through the origins of the names of NHL trophies? About halfway through the individual awards, you say? Well then, let us continue...

Sources this time around are NHL.com, Hockey Reference, TSN, the University of Toronto Varsity Blues Page, and Wikipedia.

The Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy: This one is awarded to the player "who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to hockey." It generally ends up awarded to someone who has come back from, or made a sterling attempt to come back from, serious illness or injury. The trophy was donated by the Hockey Writers' Association in 1968, and is named after Minnesota North Stars forward Bill Masterton, who died of head injuries suffered in January of that year during a game against the Oakland Seals. Masterton, who scored Minnesota's first goal ever, remains the only NHL player to have died as a direct result of on-ice injuries (knock on wood, toca ferro, &c.).

No Oiler has ever won the Masterton trophy, but if Fernando Pisani, poised to come back from ulcerative colitis for the second time, doesn't win it this year, an injustice will have been done.

The Lester B. Pearson Award: In the last post in this series, I mentioned an award won by a Nobel laureate, and, well, it's this one. The Pearson award is given to the NHL's outstanding player, as chosen by the players themselves, and was donated by the NHL Players' Association in 1971. It is named, of course, after the former Canadian Prime Minister, who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1957 for his handling of the Suez crisis. Pearson was an active sportsman; in addition to playing for Oxford, with whom he won the Spengler Cup* in 1923, he played semi-pro baseball, coached the University of Toronto men's hockey team from 1926-28, and had a number of other athletic pursuits as well. In addition to, you know, winning the Nobel Peace Prize and being Prime Minister of Canada.

Gretzky and Messier are the two Oilers to have won the Pearson award.

The Jack Adams Award: First handed out in 1974, the Jack Adams Award goes to the league's best coach, as determined by NHL broadcasters. Jack Adams was a good player in the early days of the NHL (he was also a star in the rival Pacific Coast Hockey Association), but is best known for having coached Detroit for 20 straight seasons between 1927 and 1947, during which tenure his teams won three Stanley Cups. He stayed with the Red Wings as General Manager after his coaching career ended, and built the system through which Detroit acquired young guns such as Gordie Howe and Alex Delvecchio, to name but two. On a less positive note, he was involved, in the late '50s and early '60s, in a number of fairly shady attempts to bust the newly-created players' union.

Glen Sather is the only Oiler coach to have won the Adams Trophy, but if Quinn manages to haul that lot into the playoffs this season, that could change...

The Frank J. Selke Trophy: Awarded annually to the NHL's best defensive forward. The Selke trophy was donated by the league's Board of Governors in 1977, and pretty much belonged to Bob Gainey in the early years. Frank Selke was the long-time general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs and Montreal Canadiens, and he probably deserves much of the credit for building the Habs team that won five straight Stanley Cups in the late 1950s; for one thing, he acquired Jean Beliveau (and Dickie Moore, and Henri Richard, among others). In all, he was an NHL general manager for about 35 years, during which his teams won the Stanley Cup nine times.

Unsurprisingly, no Oiler has ever won the Selke Trophy.

The William M. Jennings Trophy: The Jennings trophy is awarded to "the goalkeeper(s) having played a minimum of 25 games for the team with the fewest goals scored against it." Another trophy donated by the Board of Governors, it took over the Vezina trophy's earlier function in 1982 (the Vezina thereafter was awarded to the league's most outstanding goalie, as determined by vote). Jennings himself was the owner of the New York Rangers in the 1960s and 1970s. Although the Rangers never won the Stanley Cup during his tenure, he probably deserves quite a lot of credit for rescuing that team from the depths of awfulness it occupied during the 1950s. He was also an active booster of hockey in the United States.

No Oiler goalie, or goalie tandem, has ever won the Jennings trophy.

The King Clancy Memorial Trophy: The NHL's Board of Governors also donated the Clancy trophy, in 1987, and it is awarded to a player adjudged to have demonstrated leadership on and off the ice and to have made significant humanitarian contributions to his community. It is named after Francis M. "King" Clancy, one of the NHL's great early characters. Clancy did it all: he played, coached, refereed, and served as a team executive during his 65 years of involvement with the NHL. He is also, to the best of my knowledge, the only man ever to have played all six positions, including goalie, during the same game, which feat he pulled off during the 1923 Stanley Cup finals while playing for the Senators against the Edmonton Eskimos.

Oilers' captain Ethan Moreau is actually the current holder of the Clancy award, and Kevin Lowe also won it while playing for Edmonton.

The Maurice Richard Trophy: And we have arrived at the youngest of the major NHL awards! The Richard Trophy was donated in 1998 by the Montreal Canadiens, and is awarded to the NHL's top goalscorer each season. It is named, of course, after the rather good Canadiens player, cultural icon, and bane of Clarence Campbell's existence, but I'm guessing that you knew that. Anyway, here's his playing record, and below is a reminder, from the last game ever played at Le Forum, of just how popular Richard was.

No Oiler has ever won the Richard Trophy.

Stayed tuned for the final post in the trophies series, when we'll discuss retired awards and other oddities!

Oh, and Happy New Year!

*The Spengler Cup, by the way, is one of the great under-appreciated bits of ice hockey. Nowadays it is contested between a number of European club teams and a Team Canada comprised of Europe-based Canadian players. It produces lots of great "Oh, so that's what happened to Player X" moments (I was watching Canada vs. Adler Mannheim on Tuesday, and was interested to see that the Mannheim goalie was Freddy Brathwaite, who played for the Oilers in the mid-'90s. Sadly, this year's Spengler just wrapped up (hats off to Dynamo Minsk), so you'll have to wait 'til next December to see it again, but I'd highly recommend watching it if you get the chance.

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T15:43:00.001-07:00

The best of the holidays to all of you!

Regular blogging to resume next week.

Hiatus!

2009-12-19T16:22:00.002-07:00

Sorry, once again, for the lack of posting! I've been at the Bookstore all week, lugging textbooks around, and I haven't had the energy to do any blogging. More on hockey trophies soon!

A Field Guide To Hockey Trophies, Part II

2009-12-10T15:28:00.013-07:00

Great Lakes Bulk Carrier "James Norris"

Well, this thing is certainly taking on a life of its own! I had originally thought to do the major individual awards in one go, but there are just too many of them, so I'm breaking them into two parts. I've decided to discuss the awards in chronological order of inception, and, just because I can, I'll be mentioning any members of the Oilies who have held these awards.

Sources for this are NHL.com, Hockey Reference, the Hockey Hall of Fame, the International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame, and Wikipedia.

MAJOR INDIVIDUAL TROPHIES, SEGMENT ALPHA:

The Hart Memorial Trophy: Awarded to the NHL's Most Valuable Player, the Hart Memorial trophy is not, in fact, the oldest individual trophy in the league, as it was first awarded in 1960. However, I've decided to count it as such since it represents a continuation of the original Hart trophy, which was donated way back in 1923 by Dr. David A. Hart. Dr. Hart was the father of Cecil Hart, who coached the Montreal Canadiens for 9 seasons between 1926 and 1939, winning 2 Stanley Cups in the process, and is one of a smallish number of Canadians to be inducted into the International Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. There's a small measure of historical irony in the fact that Cecil Hart was a direct descendant of Aaron Moses Hart, an officer in the British army that took Montreal from the French in 1760.

Wayne Gretzky (8 times) and Mark Messier have won the Hart while members of the Edmonton Oilers.

The Lady Byng Memorial Trophy: Awarded to "the player adjudged to have exhibited the best type of sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability." I believe that the NHL is unique among major North American professional sports leagues in having an annual award for sportsmanship. Anyway, the trophy was donated to the league in 1925 by Marie Evelyn Moreton, aka Lady Byng, the Viceregal Consort of Canada (i.e the spouse of the Governor General) between 1921 and 1926 (the "Memorial" bit was added after her death). She was married to Julian Byng, 1st Viscount Byng of Vimy, who had commanded the Canadian Corps for a time during the First World War, most famously at Vimy Ridge. During his subsequent Governor Generalship, the Byngs were frequently to be spotted at Ottawa Senators games, and the donation of the trophy followed from that. After Viscount Byng's death in 1935, Lady Byng returned to Canada, and lived the rest of the her life in Ottawa. Sadly, by the time she returned, the Senators had folded.

The Oilers have had two winners of the Lady Byng Trophy, namely Wayne Gretzky and Jari Kurri.

The Vezina Trophy: This trophy is now awarded to the league's best goaltender, as voted upon by NHL general managers (it used to be awarded to the goalie or goalies whose team allowed the fewest goals in the season). It is named, of course, after the legendary Georges Vezina, nicknamed "le Concombre de Chicoutimi" for his coolness in net, who tended goal for the Montreal Canadiens from 1910 until November of 1925, when he was forced to retire by the tuberculosis which would kill him a mere four months later. In the wake of his death, the Canadiens donated the Vezina trophy in his honour, and it was first awarded after the 1926-27 season (the first winner of the trophy was, in fact, George Hainsworth, Vezina's successor in the Canadiens' goal). There are a number of myths out there about Vezina, including that he didn't learn to skate until he was in his late teens (true), and that he fathered 24 children, 22 of whom died in infancy (false - Vezina had two sons).

Grant Fuhr is the only Oiler to have won the Vezina.

The Calder Memorial Trophy: The wording for this one is quite elegant as well; it is awarded to "the player selected as the most proficient in his first year of competition in the National Hockey League." The trophy is named after Frank Calder, who never played hockey but was instrumental in the creation of the NHL and was the league's first president. He presided, ruthlessly, over the league's early growth and expansion to the U.S., and its subsequent emergence as the top professional hockey league on the continent. Calder also, in 1933, initiated the practise of rewarding each season's top rookie, although the trophy itself was formally inaugurated until after his death in 1943. As a final historical note, Calder was staunchly opposed to segregation in sports. He is reported to have said, at one point in the late '20s, "[p]ro hockey has no ruling against the colored man, nor is it likely to ever draw the line."

No Oiler has ever won the Calder trophy. However, Oiler fans will swear up and down that Wayne Gretzky was unjustly denied the award in 1979-80, when the NHL decided that Gretzky's brief pro experience in the WHA rendered him ineligible. Of course, that didn't prevent Sergei Makarov, who had a mere 13 seasons' experience in the top Soviet league, winning it in 1990. To its credit, the league has since closed that loophole.

The Art Ross Trophy: Awarded to the league's top point-scorer in each season. The trophy was donated to the NHL in 1947 by its namesake himself. Ross, who ironically was a defenceman during a hall-of-fame playing career in the pre-NHL days (Ross may have been hockey's original offensive d-man, a sort of early version of Bobby Orr), is probably best known as the long-time coach of the Boston Bruins, a position he occupied for 16 seasons between 1924 and 1945. He is actually credited with having chosen the name "Bruins." He also managed the Boston club from 1924 until 1954. Ross had reputation, throughout his involvement in hockey, for belligerence; while playing for the Ottawa Senators in 1915, he got into a fight with Toronto's Minnie McGiffin that ended with both players spending the night in jail.

Seven of Wayne Gretzky's ten Art Ross Trophy wins occurred while he was a member of Oilers. No other Oiler has ever won it.

The James Norris Memorial Trophy: Awarded to the league's top defenceman. the trophy is named after James Norris Sr., and was donated to the league by his children in 1953. The Norris dynasty, which accumulated vast wealth in grain and cattle in the 19th and early 20th centuries (it is hard not to imagine the word "baron" in connection with the Norrises) owned the Detroit Red Wings from the early '30s until Bruce Norris sold the team in 1982. James Sr. also had significant ownership stakes in the Rangers and Black Hawks at the same time as he owned the Red Wings, which you probably wouldn't be able to get away with today. And, as you can see from the picture above, he has a ship named after him!

Paul Coffey won the Norris trophy twice for the Oilers.

The Conn Smythe Trophy: This one's awarded to the most valuable player in the Stanley Cup playoffs, and was presented to the league by Maple Leaf Gardens Inc. in 1964. It is named after Constantine Falkland Cary Smythe, owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs from 1927 to 1961. Smythe was no hands-off owner - he also managed and briefly coached the Leafs, and financed the construction of Maple Leaf Gardens. He also saw action in both World Wars, winning a Military Cross and doing time as a POW during the First, and being horribly wounded during the Second. And he is of course remembered for his famous summation of his hockey philosophy: "If you can't beat 'em in the alley you can't beat 'em on the ice."

Three Oilers have won the Conn Smythe Trophy: Gretzky (twice), Messier, and Bill Ranford.

Well, that's about half of the major individual trophies. Next time up: the other half! Stay tuned to find out which is the only NHL trophy to be named after a Nobel laureate!

An Interesting Thing That I Had Not Known

2009-12-09T16:24:00.005-07:00

Taking a quick break from hockey trophies here. Anyway, up until yesterday, I had lived my life in blissful ignorance of the reason why cats, when frightened or startled, will flatten their ears, spit, and hiss. Like so:

Well, this behaviour is apparently a form of mimicry. When a cat hisses, it is saying, quite deliberately, "oh no, I'm not a poor little cat at all! I'm actually one of these guys:

...so I'm really much scarier than a cat, and you should leave me alone."

Ok, perhaps they're not mimicking the Armenian Viper specifically, but you get the idea.

Fez tip to Maru.

A Field Guide To Hockey Trophies, Part I

2009-12-08T17:34:00.001-07:00

Lord Stanley of Preston

An interesting little discussion came up on the CBC Saturday night, during one of the period breaks in the Maple Leafs-Bruins game (Game Story: "Brian Burke haz a sad"), concerning the idea of renaming some of the NHL trophies. Apparently, there is concern in some quarters that the names attached to the trophies are just a wee bit too obscure, and thus need replacing with some more recent, well-known, monikers. And so it is proposed the the league's leading scorer each year should no longer receive the Art Ross Trophy, but rather the Wayne Gretzky Trophy, and so on. Now, honouring the game's great names is an excellent idea, but to do so by relegating other great names to the back pages of history seems very very wrong to me.

Surprisingly, however, this appalling idea actually has some support. Glen Healy was all for it during the segment I saw on TV on Saturday (video included in the link above), much to the puzzlement of Mike Milbury and Ron MacLean. And today I discovered that Elliotte Friedman had pushed the idea on his blog a full year ago. And so, we here at De Koboldorum Rebus have taken up educational arms, and are doing something about it. We hereby present a sort of " Brief Field Guide to the Trophies of the National Hockey League, Especially the People After Whom They Are Named." Sources for this are variably NHL.com, Hockey Reference, the Hockey Hall of Fame, and Wikipedia. This thing will come into being in three parts, beginning today with:

MAJOR TEAM TROPHIES:

The Stanley Cup: Awarded yearly to the champions of the NHL playoffs, which you probably knew. The Cup was donated in 1892 by Sir Frederick Arthur Stanley, who was many things but most importantly for our purposes Governor General of Canada between 1888 and 1893. Lord Stanley and his wife became hockey fans after their sons took up the amateur game in Ottawa during his tenure there. And yes, he is the Stanley who dedicated the famous park in Vancouver that bears his name (apparently, Lord Stanley had a deep affection for western Canada). As far as I know, "Lord Stanley's Mug" is the oldest still-awarded professional sports trophy in North America, and one of the three or four oldest in the world, although I'm willing to be corrected on that.

The Presidents' Trophy: Note the apostrophe. Awarded to the team with the best overall record during the regular season. The trophy was donated in 1985 by the league's Board of Governors, and I'm not dead sure to which presidents the name refers. The presidents of the NHL, presumably.

The Prince of Wales Trophy: Now awarded to the champions of the Eastern Conference playoffs. However, the trophy has had a number of roles through the years, and was originally donated to be awared to the champions of the NHL playoffs. It is named, obviously, for the Prince of Wales. Ah, but which one? Well, the trophy was donated in 1924, and is thus named for the man who would briefly become King Edward VIII before abdicating to marry Wallis Simpson. I do not know if the Prince was particularly a hockey fan, although according to his Wikipedia entry he did own a ranch in southern Alberta.

The Clarence S. Campbell Bowl: The Western Conference counterpart to the Prince of Wales Trophy. It was donated upon the NHL's expansion in 1967, although I have read (at the HHOF site and on Wikipedia) that the physical trophy was made in the 19th century. It is named, obviously, after Clarence Campbell, legendary president of the NHL from 1946 to 1977. Campbell must go down with baseball's Kennesaw Mountain Landis as one of the great, iron-fisted rulers of professional sports - fitting for a man who'd been an NHL referee in the 1930s and a war crimes prosecutor during World War II. Campbell suspended players Billy Taylor and Don Gallinger for life after allegations of gambling, but is probably best remembered for his suspension of Maurice Richard in March of 1955, and the aftermath of that. He was, generally speaking, a tough egg.

So there you have some little capsules on the major team trophies. Next up: The major individual trophies!

An Appropriate Musical Interlude

2009-12-05T16:38:00.003-07:00

...particularly, this weekend, the bit about "mon chemin".

Delays

2009-12-02T17:43:00.001-07:00

Apologies for the lack of blogging around here. I've been back at the Bookstore, and will be through the end of this week, which is excellent!

Although I find that I dislike people who talk on their cellphones while they're paying for things at the till.

Советская музыкальная интермедия

2009-11-24T17:15:00.004-07:00

Not sure why, but I felt like listening to the old Soviet national anthem today. Perhaps it's because it sounds like I've always thought a national anthem should, especially when the Red Army Choir gets ahold of it. In addition to having a beautiful melody, the song possesses a very "national anthem-y" combination of solemnity and arrogance. Anyway:

Bonus Red Army Choir, Comrades!

Cavalcade of Randomness: The Sequel to the The Sequel!

2009-11-23T15:16:00.008-07:00

"Propertius & Cynthia at Tivoli," by Auguste Jean Baptiste Vinchon

Without further ado:

Beginning with a bit of a soccer story: A Croatian goalkeeper rescued a cat which wandered onto the pitch during a game. Whereupon he was given a yellow card. All-in-all, it has not been a banner week for soccer referees. However, on the plus side, this blog does now have a "Medjimurje Cakovec" label!
I think Nefertiti is going to be an indoors cat indefinitely and probably for good. I am basing this on two things: first of all, although she loves to look out the window, she shows no interest in actually going outside. Secondly, when I stepped outside last night, there were what I would guess to be about four coyotes singing to each other in the ravine a whole two blocks away. I am all in favour of urban wildlife (indeed, I stood there for a time and listened to the coyotes), but I'd rather it didn't eat Nefertiti.
Last week saw the first meeting of a little Latin reading group that a former student of mine has set up. Although I was only able to be there for the first part of this session, I think it has great potential to be good fun! It's mostly former students of mine, with some friends and family along as well. We're reading Propertius, at least for starters.
Those of us who follow the Oilers may remember the whole Dany Heatley nastiness from this summer. Well, a couple of local businesses have got together to commemorate the trade-that-wasn't, and have found a way to make it into a charity event as well! It's actually quite a cool idea, and for a very good cause. And I think we are all happy that the Heatley deal, didn't actually happyen, in the end...
Speaking of the end, I think we have reached it for this post!

In Which Satire Curls Up In Fetal Position And Cries

2009-11-17T10:41:00.005-07:00

Flanders and Swann, 50-some years ago (audio link):

If the juju had meant us not to eat people, he wouldn't have made us of meat.

Sarah Palin, apparently quite recently:

"If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?"

Emphasis mine. Ok, we're missing some context here, and I'm willing to concede the possibility that Palin was joking. However, given her support for barbaric hunting practices, I also think it's entirely plausible that she actually believes that animals were placed on Earth simply for us to devour. Here's a bit of "bonus" Palin (link is to the same article as above):

"I always remind people from outside our state that there's plenty of room for all Alaska's animals -- right next to the mashed potatoes."

Full Disclosure: I am not a vegetarian. That said, I don't revel in the fact of my meat-eating; I eat meat because I enjoy the taste of it, not because I think I have any divine right or duty to do so. And I occasionally feel guilty about it, although that and $2.26 will get you an extra-large coffee at Starbucks.

In Retrospect, Maybe They Should Have Seen That Coming...

2009-11-12T15:51:00.005-07:00

Ahh, gargoyles - or at least, what we refer to as "gargoyles." Technically, only the ones that channel water are gargoyles; the others are chimeras. But anyway, for centuries they have gazed down from the heights of gothic architecture, frightening away evil spirits and, as mentioned, sometimes channeling away rainwater.

Back in the 1980s, the folks at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., discovered that they had a couple of empty niches where new gargoyles might be placed. In the interests of community outreach, they asked a number of schoolchildren for suggestions as to what sort of shape the new gargoyles should take, specifically pointing out the "scariness" aspect of gargoyles in general. And then, being good sports, they acted on the suggestions:

The other child-inspired gargoyle? A raccoon.

Joyeux Anniversaire!

2009-10-29T12:13:00.005-06:00

Fifty years ago today, on October 29th, 1959, the French comics magazine Pilote published its first issue. Defunct since 1989, Pilote would probably not be much remembered, except that one of its comics turned out to have quite a lot of sticking power, and if you've been over to Google today, you know which one it was.

Yes, today is the 50th birthday of Asterix, Obelix, and the rest of the village of indomitable Gauls, the brainchildren of Rene Goscinny and Albert Uderzo. And anyone who appreciates humour, or ancient history, or any combination thereof, owes those two gentlemen a deep debt of gratitude.

Personally, I think my favourite is Le Tour de Gaulle d'Asterix, mostly because it's the one in which they acquire Idefix, but that's just me...

In Which Chunklets Takes Up New Media

2009-10-27T14:55:00.003-06:00

Yes. Yes, I did. And now back to work.

BWAH-HAH-HAH

2009-10-26T14:16:00.002-06:00

In which The Onion shoots and scores, yet again:

Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla
October 26, 2009 | Issue 45•44

ROANOKE, VA—Local claims adjuster David Seaborne, a devoted husband and father of three, died Tuesday at the age of 37 following a long and painful personal battle with a 512-pound eastern lowland gorilla.

Yes, it's somewhat tasteless, but still... Anyway, real posting soon!

Developing...

2009-10-21T16:35:00.002-06:00

Gunman holding hostages in Edmonton building
Last Updated: Wednesday, October 21, 2009 | 4:01 PM CBC News

An armed man is holding hostages in the Workers' Compensation Board building in downtown Edmonton, police say.

Eek. On the plus side, apparently nobody has been hurt, and some of the hostages have been released.

I V vi iii IV I IV V

2009-10-16T15:21:00.006-06:00

Hmmm, we haven't had a musical interlude for awhile! So, what to play, what to play... Ok, here's a classic from a few years ago:

Now, even if you're not a Green Day fan, the melody-line of that song may sound just a tad familiar. There is a reason for that, said reason being that Billie-Joe Armstrong borrowed the chord progression from a certain well-known canon:

You fools! Go back and count the "n"s!

Much better. We will overlook for now the fact that the man pictured in the video is Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, not Johanne Pachelbel. So yes, there you have it - the strange connection between Baroque chamber music and late-20th-century pop-punk.

All The Best To You, Theo

2009-10-10T12:06:00.004-06:00

Some years ago, when Theo Fleury first started getting himself into trouble, I remember having a conversation about it with a friend of mine. We noted Theo's difficulties, and the fact that he'd played for Moose Jaw under Graham James, and we did wonder a bit if those two things weren't connected. Well, we wonder no more.

Oh, and if you're having warm and fuzzy thoughts about humanity today, a saunter through the comments section of the above-linked story should fix that right up for you! Why do I read those things, anyway?

Yet Another Cavalcade Of Randomness!!

2009-10-05T16:27:00.006-06:00

Because the first one was such a hit!

Open House at the U this past Saturday, which is always good for my fitness, since the Department and the Open House booth are in opposite corners of the campus. The most encouraging sign, on a day that went really well anyway, was the number of high-school students who came up to our booth asking not "So what is History & Classics, anyway, and what kind of job can it get me?", but rather things like "this is where I come to learn about the ancient world, right?" Good stuff.
On a related note, I had coffee this morning with the husband of the Director for the archaeological site in Tuscany upon which I have worked. We discussed many things, including which bits of the upcoming site publication I should expect to find myself writing, and the general state of the preservation/conservation business. It was extremely productive...
On a completely unrelated note, I went, along with brother and nephew, to see the Major Junior team in action on Friday night. The local boys won 3-2, despite a hairy finish, and afterwards we got to and clamber around on the catwalks up above the arena. Fun!
Speaking of hairy finishes, that was not how the Oilies wished to commence their season, I believe. Sigh. On the bright side, overall, the team looked pretty decent.
I believe that I saw a beaver swimming in the river last week - spotted him, in fact, from the bus as we were crossing a bridge. Alternatively, might have been muskrat, but it was a little big for that, I think.
And a neat little piece dealing with light pollution, accompanied by an absolutely stunning video, is located here. Go watch!

And that's it 'til next time!

Opening Night!

2009-10-01T14:11:00.005-06:00

And hockey is now back, or at least will be in a couple of hours, and questions and storylines abound! How about that Tavares kid? Who's going to be worse: Phoenix or Colorado? Will the goonification of the Toronto Maple Leafs bear fruit? Will Chicago take the next step, or be undone by bad goaltending and off-season unpleasantness? Who is this season's Great Canadian Hope (it's Vancouver, BTW)? And, most importantly, who's going to be skating around next June waving an enormous silver flowerpot over their heads? And the answer to that last is... wait for it...

The Pittsburgh Penguins.

Yes, we're going with the repeat winner. They've got top-drawer talent, obviously, and now they've got the experience to match it. The WKS brigade foresees them knocking off the San Jose Sharks in the final, simply on the grounds that one of these years the Sharks are going to have stop sucking in the playoffs, and it might as well be this one. However, any of Detroit, Vancouver, Washington, Chicago, Boston, or even Philadelphia could decide to have their say as well.

As for the Oilers, who get things underway on Saturday night, well, expectations are a bit subdued, despite the arrival of highly experienced coaching.* The general consensus out there is that the Oilers had a pretty good draft, and then spent too much of the summer swooning around after Dany Heatley, resulting in them going into training camp with too many big holes in the lineup. Although the defence is world-class, especially when attacking, there are questions about the size of the forward corps. The return of Mike Comrie, and his solid play, have been positives, but the Oilers are going to need it continue, and then some, if they're going to go anywhere this season. In net, the Oil acquired Mr. Khabibulin, and that's excellent just as long as he doesn't go off form or get hurt. In short, it's going to be a tough, tough year, especially with a deadly schedule right out of the gate.

The following four numbers, however, give some slight cause for optimism, however: 21, 23, 31, 27. Those are the numbers of points by which Quinn-coached teams have improved in his first full season in charge. Now, it is probably a stretch to expect that sort of thing from this year's Oiler team, but those are still very impressive figures, and can't all be due to roster changes. So maybe, just maybe, and with some additions somewhere along the line, the boys can find their way into the second season. And if they can't, well, at least we've got Jordan Eberle and Magnus Pääjärvi-Svensson to look forward to.

Goil!

*The official De Koboldorum Rebus opinion on the hirings of Pat Quinn and Tom Renney is as follows: it was a very very very very good thing to do. There are enormous hockey brains in those two men, and I am very much looking forward to what they do with the team. Furthermore, adherents (and there is a distressingly large number of them) to the "Pat Quinn has won nothing in his career" school of thought need to be slapped upsides the head and reminded that, for a coach, an Olympic gold medal, World Cup, U18 World Championship, World Junior Championship, and 657 FLIPPIN' NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE GAMES pretty much amount to "something." To put it another way, the only men who've won more as NHL coaches are named Scotty Bowman, Al Arbour, Dick Irvin, and Mike Keenan, and Quinn will catch Keenan this season, having coached five fewer seasons than Keenan to boot. There's a solid possibility that he'll catch Irvin this year as well, in seven fewer seasons. In short, I think it was a good hire.

A Bookstore Anecdote

2009-09-30T17:28:00.002-06:00

As promised below, here we have the first in what will probably become a short series! And this one deals with the Comparative Literature section of the Bookstore. Unfortunately, the signage in said section employed a perhaps unfortunate and anatomical abbreviation, one which I'll let you bright sparks figure out on your own. Thus it was that a couple of days into rush, the floor manager tasked me with removing all of the offending signs, and replacing them with something a little less controversial. I assumed that there had been complaints; however, it actually turned that somebody had taken a picture of one of the old signs and posted it on a widely read internet site. The only real shock was that it took as long as it did for this to happen, since the old signs had been up for years.

The funny bit occurred a few days after the signs were replaced, when a young fellow, accompanied by his girlfriend, stopped me and asked for directions to the Comparative Literature section. "Follow me!" I said, and they did. However, when we hove in sight of the section and its new signs, both their faces fell, and they stopped. I must have looked at them quizzically, because the male half of the couple muttered something about it being "far too complicated to explain," and then they scurried off, out of the store.

So yeah, we actually had tourists making trips to the Bookstore expressly and only to look at the funny Comparative Literature signs.

A Return, And A Departure

2009-09-29T17:32:00.005-06:00

* Blows dust off blog, again *

I'm back! And where have I been for the last month? Well, toiling in the University Bookstore through the September textbook rush, for the most part. The scene below is a reasonable facsimile of the sort of job it was:

Trust me, there will be anecotes, oh my yes!

However, it is not the goings-on at the University Bookstore that concerns us today, but rather a somewhat odd news story that cropped up last week. Here it is:

Thousands of hyphens perish as English marches on
Fri Sep 21, 2007 4:54pm EDT By Simon Rabinovitch

LONDON (Reuters) - About 16,000 words have succumbed to pressures of the Internet age and lost their hyphens in a new edition of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.

Bumble-bee is now bumblebee, ice-cream is ice cream and pot-belly is pot belly.

And so, farewell, noble hyphen! Well, not entirely "farewell," as the article goes on to point out that hyphens will be hanging around in situations where confusion would result otherwise (the word "twenty-odd" is cited as an example). Furðermore, one must recall ðat ðere are æt least a handful of letters which have been þrown out of þe English language, so perhaps þe partial removal of a piece of punctuation is not such a big deal (For the record, the three obsolete letters used in that sentence are, in order, eth, ash, and thorn. We've also lost yogh and wynn). Still and all, I think I'm going to miss the ice-cream.

The Lack of Knowledge of Local History! It Burns!

2009-08-26T13:39:00.005-06:00

There are days when I don't know why I read the "Venting" column in the Journal. Generally, it serves as a forum for the city's knuckle-draggers to display their ignorance, passive-aggressive tendencies, and horror at the existence of people with interests different from theirs. And every so often the dumbassery gets taken to new and impressive lows.

Last weekend saw the annual dragon boat races on the river here in town. In the wake (hah!) of that, one Venter revealed its displeasure at the entire concept:

Instead of dragon boat races, why don't Edmontonians celebrate our own history and culture and use voyageur canoes?*

To be fair, the Venter has, like the proverbial blind pig, found a truffle; a voyageur canoe race on the river is an awesome idea. That said...

For those of you who do not know this, in the late 19th century something like 17,000 Chinese labourers came to Canada to work on the Western expansion of the railway. Sir John A. MacDonald is reported to have said that without them there would have been no railway, and as the writer of that link notes, without the railway there might not have been a country. Early Chinese Canadians were not treated well (just google "head tax"), especially in economically tough times.

The first Chinese Edmontonian seems to have been a fellow named Chung Gee, who arrived in 1892, the very year that Edmonton officially became a town. His reasons for coming here are not known for certain, but there had been anti-Chinese rioting in Calgary, and it is possibly that he was fleeing from that. Whatever, the case, the Chinese population of Edmonton increased steadily from that beginning. The city's Chinatown, in roughly its current location, was firmly established by 1911, when the Chinese population of the city numbered in the hundreds.

So, just in case anyone is still missing the point, the dragon boat races in Edmonton do in fact have a very strong historical and cultural basis. And some people need to do a little bit of research before beaking off to the newspaper.

*The link will probably die in a couple of days, since the Journal does not seem to archive the Vents. Here is the hard-copy citation:

Anonymous. "Venting." Edmonton Journal. August 25, 2009, p. A14.

In Which Chunklets Previews A Sporting Event Before It Actually Begins...

2009-08-21T14:06:00.005-06:00

Ah yes, on to Serie A, which gets going this weekend! Here are some questions to ponder for the upcoming season, along with possibly true answers:

So, who's going to win it?

Inter Milan

.
.
.

Um, you need to say a little bit more, I think.

Oh. Well, as the offseason transfer market got going, I not only had Inter down as champions, but thought they would probably have the title in the bag by about Christmas. Unlike, well, every other team in Serie A, they had actually succeeded in bringing in some major talent, in the person of Barcelona's Samuel Eto'o. Now... I still think they'll win it, but they may find themselves pushed by Juventus, who've very quietly made some good acquisitions this summer.

Ok, what about the other Champions' League spots?

This is where it gets exciting! Much though I don't want to, I've got to put AC Milan down for third place. Yes, they've lost their best player, as Kaka betook himself off to Real Madrid. Yes, Philippe Senderos went back to Arsenal. Yes, their owner is a lunatic who's prone to public criticism of his coaches. However, they've got too much talent, and too much money for reinforcements.

After that, though, things get really interesting, as a large handful of clubs will have their eyes on the last Champions' spot. Fiorentina, Roma, and Napoli probably have the best shot at it, but if those three stumble then Udinese, Sampdoria, Lazio, and maybe even Genoa and Palermo will all be looking to take advantage. I think, in the end, that it could be Roma's turn this season. They're still relying too much on Francesco Totti, but Fiorentina didn't do much in the transfer market, and Napoli, who did make some useful pickups, are involved in acrimonious wrangling with their top striker.

Passing lightly over the middle of the table then, who's going down?

Bari, for starters. The newly-promoted Puglians did nothing to strengthen their side, and just plain look over-matched. As for the other two... well, it saddens me, but I'm once again looking at Siena as relegation fodder (Note that I was wrong about them last time, though). And I've got a bad feeling about Bologna, who are experiencing some chaos behind the scenes, and who's centenary season may turn out to be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

And here's the prospective final table:

1	Inter Milan
2	Juventus
3	AC Milan
4	Roma
5	Fiorentina
6	Napoli
7	Sampdoria
8	Udinese
9	Genoa
10	Lazio
11	Palermo
12	Parma
13	Catania
14	Cagliari
15	Atalanta
16	Livorno
17	Chievo Verona
18	Bologna
19	Siena
20	Bari

Disturbing...

2009-08-19T13:12:00.005-06:00

I am rather glad at this moment that Nefertiti is an indoor cat.

Many posts ago, I referred to my occasional habit of grabbing on-the-bus coffee at the local Quik-E-Mart, and I have in fact been doing that this week. Now, it is not at all unusual to find the odd "Missing Cat" poster taped up at the bus-stop outside the little convenience store, but I was a bit depressed to discover two of them yesterday. And then there was a third one up this morning.

There are, of course, all kinds of possible explanations for this sudden eruption of MIA cats. It could be simply coincidence. All three of the missing cats are young toms, so another possibility is that they simply chose the same week to head off on their travels. Or, on a grimmer note, it's possible that somebody in the neighbourhood is up to no good; they are out there, after all. However, I have my own suspicions, and they revolve around this fellow:

Canis Latrans

Apparently there several hundred of the critters dwelling in the city, which is one of very cool results (and I do mean that sincerely) of having an undeveloped river valley which serves as a wildlife corridor all the way to the Rocky Mountains, not to mention a significant rabbit population. Furthermore, the neighbourhood wherein these cats have gone missing is very close to the river valley, as well as to several wooded ravines. So I do rather wonder if there isn't a new den somewhere down there.

In any case, if I were the owner of an outdoors cat, I would think very hard about keeping it under supervision while it was out there!

Premiership!

2009-08-18T15:47:00.003-06:00

Yes, it is that time again! Or rather, it was that time again last weekend, when the 2009-2010 Premiership season actually began. However, it's not too late to take a look at what's likely to happen over the coming months!

The top of the Premiership table is likely to look a lot like it did last year. In fact, I think it's probably Manchester United's title to lose again, despite the departure of Cristiano Ronaldo et al. They're too well-managed, and none of Liverpool, Chelsea, or Arsenal significantly strengthened their teams over the summer.

As always, one big question revolves around whether anybody is going to be able to catch one of the big four, and this year's prime candidate is Manchester City, who are now the richest soccer team on the planet (yes, seriously) and have been throwing the money around in a meaningful sort of way. I have heard some speculation that Arsenal are vulnerable, but I just don't think that Manchester City are quite ready to make the jump just yet. It's pretty much a given that they will qualify for the Champions' League one of these seasons, but it's probably not going to be this one. Other teams with European aspirations will, as always, include Aston Villa, Everton, and Tottenham.

At the other end of the table, the general consensus is that Hull City and Portsmouth are dooooomed, and I tend to concur. Hull City were dismal towards the end of last year, and Portsmouth are in deep financial trouble. The third relegation spot is far less certain. It's always tempting here to include one of the newly promoted sides, and I'm afraid that this time the finger of Fate points at Burnley. It's their first season in the top flight since 1976, and it's likely that they'll need a couple of tries to establish themselves among the big teams. The other two teams who came up, Birmingham City and Wolves, have recently experienced Premiership soccer, and should be better prepared.

And what of Millwall this year? Well, it's going to be very tough. There are about five clubs in League 1 this season who really should not be there on the basis of their resources and fanbase, and it's tough to see Millwall getting by enough of them to earn promotion. That said, nobody thought we'd come within 20 minutes of going up last season, either...

Anyway, here's your predicted Premiership table:

1	Manchester United
2	Chelsea
3	Liverpool
4	Arsenal
5	Manchester City
6	Aston Villa
7	Everton
8	Tottenham Hotspur
9	Sunderland
10	West Ham United
11	Fulham
12	Birmingham City
13	Bolton Wanderers
14	Wigan Athletic
15	Blackburn Rovers
16	Stoke City
17	Wolverhampton Wanderers
18	Hull City
19	Portsmouth
20	Burnley

Newses & Noteses

2009-08-11T14:15:00.002-06:00

I have been reacquainting myself with the Benny cat this week, and I am pleased to say that he is in fine form, despite the presence of workers doing renovations on the house. Benny's general comfort level is steeply and inversely proportional to the number of people around him at any given moment. And, as we discovered the other night while cooking dinner, he's not a huge fan of the smoke detector; its triggering resulted in him betaking himself to the back of the closet for a couple of hours.

I also managed to get together for dinner last night with some old friends, some of whom I had not seen for a decade or more (Facebook is a nifty thing!). Cue much reminiscing about archaeology-related adventures abroad! One of the people at the gathering is involved in museum work, so, in light of recent decisions, I was happy to be able to bend her ear a little bit about the field. To make a long story short, it appears that I am on the right track at least in identifying which programs are worthwhile! I'm trying to find programs that concentrate on the conservation/preservation side of things (I'm particularly interested in doing that sort of work on-site, basically as soon as the artifacts come out of the ground), rather than those whose emphasis is on museum management and the like. Anyway, the food and company were both excellent, and I imagine that there will be more get-togethers like last night's when we can manage it!

Pitch Invasion

2009-08-04T12:36:00.002-06:00

In which a last season's tense Ligue 1 match between Bordeaux and Nancy is watched, and participated in, with apparent enjoyment:

Soccer Notes

2009-07-31T15:22:00.002-06:00

A couple of wee tidbits:

England lost a one of the good ones today. A genuinly classy individual, as well as a very fine manager. He also was known to employ an interesting turn of phrase, every once in awhile...
The Canadian men's national team just returned from the CONCACAF Gold Cup, and I actually think it went pretty well. Canada faced as tough a group as they did during the WC qualifiers, but the boys defeated Jamaica and El Salvador, and managed to tie Costa Rica, thus in fact winning the group. The Canadians then bowed out at the quarter-final stage, losing to Honduras on a very debatable penalty call (aren't they all!). Most impressive of all, in the games that I saw, there was actually evidence of forward-thinking tactics, something that was too often lacking during the Dale Mitchell era. Oh, and Ali Gerba's goal against Jamaica was truly a thing of beauty:
The new manager of the Canadian men's team, Stephen Hart, has enjoyed a fairly bright beginning (well, it's not really a beginning, since he was interim manager before Mitchell got the permanent job). Under Hart this time around, the team's record is: Played 6, Won 4, Drawn 1, Lost 1, 8 Goals Scored, 3 Conceded. Pretty good, I'd say.

Latin Choices

2009-07-28T13:19:00.007-06:00

Page from a 15th-century manuscript of Augustine's City of God

As this summer's Latin class surges towards its completion, we're once again reaching the point in the curriculum where I need to start coming up with some things for them to read. I do not believe that students should escape Latin 102 without reading at least some unedited ancient works, warts and all. Interestingly, and encouragingly, I've actually had some requests for things to read this year, in addition to my usual choices. So, what are they going to get? Well...

Catullus 3. A yearly tradition! I send them away for a couple of weeks to come up with a really nice translation of this poem, in consultation, if they wish, with other scholarship on it.
An excerpt from Tacitus' Agricola. Of the "big guns," there's probably not a tougher Latin prose author than Tacitus, so if they can handle him, they can handle anything. I generally roll out some part of the speech of Calgacus before the Battle of Mons Graupius (in addition to being fairly translatable, for Tacitus, it's really good).
Something, still undetermined, from St. Augustine. This was actually one of the requests that I had this year, from the philosophy student who's working on Augustine. I still haven't decided what I'm going to give them; something from City of God is tempting, since it's full of fun bits of Roman history and mythology. However, Augustine does not take a postitive view of Roman history and mythology (Paraphrase from Book 2: "So Sallust thought that 'the good and right' in Rome derived from the character of the inhabitants rather than from legal coercion? Excellent! Let's discuss how the rape of the Sabine women fits into that notion."), and the above-mentioned speech of Calgacus probably fills this course's Rome-bashing quota. So perhaps I will go back to The Confessions, and find something there.
I've also had a student ask to learn how to scan Latin poetry! I have never before taught that, so I'm working now at getting myself back up to speed on the topic. I'll at least get them introduced to the notion, and walk them through a couple of the more common forms of Latin poetry. I'm leaning towards elegaic couplets, which will also serve to show them how to scan a line of dactylic hexameter, and the from generally known as Phalaecean Hendecasyllabic (hello, Catullus 3!), which sounds horrible but is actually really easy to work with.

Given time constraints, I doubt we'll be able to do any more than that and still cover the required grammar. However, it should enough to get them thinking about how to do translations (and scan poetry), and that's more or less the point!

Hat Fail

2009-07-24T11:34:00.003-06:00

I had to look at this one for a moment before it dawned on me, and then I snorted coffee through my nose.

see more Fail Blog

Rage!!!!

2009-07-22T16:17:00.004-06:00

Ok, you want to know who just made The List? It's the guy who changed all the keyboard macros on this lab computer, so that, for example, when I try to embolden highlighted text by hitting ctrl-b, the text is deleted and replaced with a single, solitary, "ß". That's who just made The List.

A Nostalgic Musical Interlude!

2009-07-21T16:43:00.002-06:00

Have you ever had one of those moments when, for no particular reason, you suddenly though: "Hey, you know what artist/musician/band/&c I haven't listened to in a long time?"

I had forgotten what a voice Karen Matheson has!

We Need More Headlines...

2009-07-20T12:02:00.008-06:00

...like this:

Just When You Thought It Was Safe… Giant Squid Terrorise Californian Coast!!!
Divers spooked by tales of assaults as swarms of aggressive jumbo flying squid invade the shallows off San DiegoAssociated Press in San Diego guardian.co.uk, Friday 17 July 2009 15.25 BST

Yes folks, "aggressive jumbo FLYING squid" (my emphasis) have apparently risen from the depths, and are tormenting anyone who ventures into the waters off San Diego. And that, of course, means that it's only a matter of time until this fellow shows up:

For you see, at the same time that tenticular doom was descending upon California, here in the Warrens, hundreds of miles from the sea, strange phenomena were at work. On Saturday night the sky turned a sort of nasty greenish-grey, thunder rolled, high winds threw things around and tore strong limbs from trees, and all the lights went out for awhile. Oh, and there was hail. Coincidence? I think not.

Anyway, as we await the arrival of the horrid denizens of R'Lyeh, here's a bit of a look at their advance guard:

You Know What Seems Silly?

2009-07-17T11:09:00.005-06:00

So, I actually got out and attended a professional sporting event last night, as I went down to watch our Eskimos host the boys from B.C. (Canadian-rules football, in case you're wondering). Now, as has become commonplace at sporting events, scores by the home team are greated with pyrotechnics, and, in the case of our particular team, the sight of a vintage fire engine, painted in the team's colours, driving around the running track with its lights flashing (just to add to last night's spectacle, it was '60s night, so the players were wearing smart-looking retro uniforms, the cheerleaders were wearing go-go boots, etc. It was quite something).

Anyway, during the second half, the Eskimos found themselves on offence, but pinned way back on their own 2-yard line, with their backup quarterback in. In other words, they were in deep trouble. But, lo-and-behold, they drove the ball 108 yards down the field, scored a touchdown, and then followed that up with a two-point convert! And the fireworks duly went off, the fire engine drove upon its appointed course, and the cheerleaders and mascots leapt around gleefully.

Now, here's the bit where the silliness arrives. You may remember how I mentioned that this occurred during the second half? Well, to be specific, there were exactly 12 seconds left in the game, after the touchdown. And the touchdown made the score 40-22. For B.C. And I thought that it would be a bit of an idea for the folks running "the show" to say: "At this point we are 100% likely to lose this game badly, and maniacly celebrating the fact that the margin of defeat will be 18 rather than 26 points is not only silly, it's kinda pathetic."

Just a thought, anyway...