* Reads newspaper *
Hmm, so, let's see, what's up in the world these days? Well, everything seems to be going swimmingly in regards to the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. Why, the next attempt to contain the leak will probably only INCREASE the rate of flow from it by 20%!!!!!!!! Sucks to be you, things that live in, on, or by the Gulf! Fortunately, the head cheese of British Petroleum says that things aren't that bad at all, and we should all just settle down and not pay any attention to those horrible sciencey people, with their science and everything. Next up - hurricane season!
And... look over here! An attempt to lessen, in some minor and perhaps symbolic way, the suffering of the city of Gaza has been met with lethal force, thus providing the extremist wings of both sides of the Israel-Palestine debate with a prime chance to get up and scream at each other. At press time, Gaza itself remained more-or-less screwed.
On the local front, someone took it upon him/her/itself this past weekend to wander down to the zoo and wipe out the guinea pigs. "Why?" you ask? Nobody knows. However, I feel strongly that The Stealthy Dachshund's response has much merit to it.