Monday, April 7, 2008

Drama Down At The Ol' Swimmin' Hole

The drowning woman floated face-down in the water. Nearby, we treaded water, unconcerned.

The lifeguard spotted the problem, and looked about for something to throw to the drowning woman. Finding nothing, she leapt into the water and propelled herself towards the swimmer in trouble. We treaded more water.

The drowning woman drifted towards us. We got out of her way.

As she approached the drowning woman, the lifeguard cried out: "You there, in the water, are you ok? Do you need help?"

The drowning woman raised her head from the water and said: "Should I respond to that?"

"No," said the man on the shore, taking notes. "You're unconscious and non-responsive."

"Gotcha," said the drowning woman, and went back to drowning.

The lifeguard reached the drowning woman, performed some complicated manoeuvre to flip her onto her back, and hauled her towards safety. We admired her technique.

Upon reaching the shore, both drowning woman and lifeguard exited the water, and waited while the man made some more notes.

Finally, he looked at the (former) drowning woman, and said: "Your turn." The (former) drowning woman ascended the lifeguard tower. The (former) lifeguard entered the water, and assumed the role of drowning woman.

The drowning woman floated face-down in the water, &c. &c.

Yes, we (a friend and I) went to the swimming pool (what it lacked in swimmin'-hole-ness, it made up for in being-indoors-on-a-snowy-day-ness) on Saturday afternoon, and found ourselves in the odd position of being the only people there who were not taking the lifeguarding exams. We did ask if we should leave, but were told that no, we could stay as long as we didn't get involved in the proceedings. So we merrily treaded water and watched as repeated rescues occurred a scant few feet from us. It did add a certain something to the proceedings...


Crimson Rambler said...

Now I admit I'm confused. The past tense of "to tread water" = "treaded water"? "trod water"? "tread water"? ..... "Hi, I'm Crimson Rambler, and I'm an English teacher..." "Hi, Crimson Rambler..."

Chorus said...

How surreal... But funny.