Premiership Time!

Blackpool's Stanley Matthews(l) takes on Bolton's Malcolm Barrass in the 1953 FA Cup Final

Yes, 'til the season again! And once more, we are here with fearless predictions! This year, I've decided to divide the Premiership teams up into groups, based on their rough projected finish. Furthermore, I have wittily named these groups after Clash songs. So here we go (teams are listed in alphabetical order in each group, and last year's finish is in brackets after the team name)!

"Brand New Cadillac": Arsenal (3), Chelsea (1), Manchester City (5), Manchester United (2). You can probably lay down money that your champion will come from this group, and there's a good chance that these teams will hog all the Champions' League spots. Large questions remain concerning Man City's ability to get their very expensive lineup to gel (and they're not done tinkering with it yet), but I think they're ready to make the jump. The other three teams here are long-standing members of the "Big Four," and it'll be no surprise at all to see them clustered at the top of the table again. These teams have no chance at all of being relegated, and failure to qualify for Europe will be viewed as a catastrophe.

"Safe European Home": Everton (8), Liverpool (7), Tottenham Hotspur (4). Here we have the teams that are likely to take the Europa Cup (formerly UEFA Cup) spots. These teams are dangerous, and do have a chance to creep into the Champions' League, as Spurs did last season, but they probably won't contend for the Premiership title. Fortunately, relegation is also virtually out of the question. And what is Liverpool, traditionally one of the "Big Four," doing in this lowlier group? Suffering from major financial problems, is what. Liverpool are actually very hard to figure out for this season; they could rise above it all and get in there with the big boys at the top of the table, or they could implode, sell all their good players, and finish 16th.

"Lost in the Supermarket": Aston Villa (6), Birmingham (9), Blackburn Rovers (10), Bolton Wanderers (14), Fulham (12), Newcastle United (promoted), Stoke City (11), Sunderland (13). Ah, here we have the great "meh" of the mid-table of the Premiership, with no disrespect intended. These teams generally don't have the financial clout to compete for Champions' League spots, and can really only hope (faintly) to fight their way into the lesser Europa Cup. Relegation is also unlikely for these teams; however, a bad run of injuries or loss of form could land any one of them in hot water quite quickly. The mystery team here is Newcastle. They're back, obviously, and they've certainly got the fan-base to compete with anyone, but the seers have foreseen a season consolidation before they once again assail the upper reaches of the Premiership. We also originally had Aston Villa in the "Safe European Home" group, but their manager walked out on them this week, three days before their first game, and that's not going to do their chances any good at all.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go?": West Bromwich Albion (promoted), West Ham United (17), Wigan Athletic (16), Wolverhampton Wanderers (15). No, I do not have anything against the letter "W". These teams must be a bit nervous looking forward to the season, since two of the relegation spots are likely to go to members of this group. Mid-table safety will be quite acceptable, and a spot in Europe next season would border on the miraculous. West Ham are probably the strongest of this group, and the most likely to survive.

"Train in Vain": Blackpool (promoted). Almost dead certs for relegation, unfortunately. Once one of England's great teams, Blackpool last saw the top division in 1971, and have stumbled around the lower flights ever since. Now, a couple of years back Hull City managed to survive their first ever Premiership season, so the situation isn't totally hopeless, but Blackpool's chances are slim and none, and slim's in the taxi on the way to the airport. Blackpool just don't have the resources to compete at this level. At least they'll always have "The Matthews Final."

So, in the end, your Premiership table is likely to look roughly so:

1	Manchester United
2	Arsenal
3	Manchester City
4	Chelsea
5	Liverpool
6	Tottenham Hotspur
7	Everton
8	Aston Villa
9	Newcastle United
10	Sunderland
11	Birmingham City
12	Fulham
13	Bolton Wanderers
14	Blackburn Rovers
15	Stoke City
16	West Ham United
17	Wigan Athletic
18	Wolverhampton Wanderers
19	West Bromwich Albion
20	Blackpool

And what of Millwall, back in the Championship, the second tier of English football? Well, to be honest, their goal this season is to finish above three other teams in the standings. I'll be happy wherever they end up, as long as they don't get relegated straight back to League 1. And they're off to a decent start; the Championship actually began play last weekend, and Millwall strolled off to Bristol City, a team with a genuine shot at promotion to the Premiership. Sometime later, they strolled back to London, having thrashed City 3-0. So that was good, but there's still a long road ahead of them.

And finally, you didn't think I'd do the whole "Clash song title" thing and then not post a vid, did you? Here's "Safe European Home":

Woo-Hoo!

Party-time in south-east London tonight, I would think! I'll post video when I can find it.

Millwall celebrate the promotion-winning goal. Pic from the BBC

Premiership!

Yes, it is that time again! Or rather, it was that time again last weekend, when the 2009-2010 Premiership season actually began. However, it's not too late to take a look at what's likely to happen over the coming months!

The top of the Premiership table is likely to look a lot like it did last year. In fact, I think it's probably Manchester United's title to lose again, despite the departure of Cristiano Ronaldo et al. They're too well-managed, and none of Liverpool, Chelsea, or Arsenal significantly strengthened their teams over the summer.

As always, one big question revolves around whether anybody is going to be able to catch one of the big four, and this year's prime candidate is Manchester City, who are now the richest soccer team on the planet (yes, seriously) and have been throwing the money around in a meaningful sort of way. I have heard some speculation that Arsenal are vulnerable, but I just don't think that Manchester City are quite ready to make the jump just yet. It's pretty much a given that they will qualify for the Champions' League one of these seasons, but it's probably not going to be this one. Other teams with European aspirations will, as always, include Aston Villa, Everton, and Tottenham.

At the other end of the table, the general consensus is that Hull City and Portsmouth are dooooomed, and I tend to concur. Hull City were dismal towards the end of last year, and Portsmouth are in deep financial trouble. The third relegation spot is far less certain. It's always tempting here to include one of the newly promoted sides, and I'm afraid that this time the finger of Fate points at Burnley. It's their first season in the top flight since 1976, and it's likely that they'll need a couple of tries to establish themselves among the big teams. The other two teams who came up, Birmingham City and Wolves, have recently experienced Premiership soccer, and should be better prepared.

And what of Millwall this year? Well, it's going to be very tough. There are about five clubs in League 1 this season who really should not be there on the basis of their resources and fanbase, and it's tough to see Millwall getting by enough of them to earn promotion. That said, nobody thought we'd come within 20 minutes of going up last season, either...

Anyway, here's your predicted Premiership table:

1	Manchester United
2	Chelsea
3	Liverpool
4	Arsenal
5	Manchester City
6	Aston Villa
7	Everton
8	Tottenham Hotspur
9	Sunderland
10	West Ham United
11	Fulham
12	Birmingham City
13	Bolton Wanderers
14	Wigan Athletic
15	Blackburn Rovers
16	Stoke City
17	Wolverhampton Wanderers
18	Hull City
19	Portsmouth
20	Burnley

So, How Did We Do?: Part 1

Quite some time ago, prior to the somewhat recently completed soccer season, the wizened Kobold seers speculated as to how the Premiership was going to turn out. And, given that the 2009-2010 campaign is just around the corner, it's probably time to see how they did. Here then are their picks, along

	Wizened Kobold Seers		Reality
1	Chelsea	1	ManchesterUnited
2	Manchester United	2	Liverpool
3	Liverpool	3	Chelsea
4	Arsenal	4	Arsenal
5	Tottenham Hotspur	5	Everton
6	Aston Villa	6	Aston Villa
7	Everton	7	Fulham
8	Manchester City	8	Tottenham Hotspur
9	Portsmouth	9	West Ham United
10	Newcastle United	10	Manchester City
11	West Ham United	11	Wigan Athletic
12	Bolton Wanderers	12	Stoke City
13	Blackburn Rovers	13	Bolton Wanderers
14	Middlesbrough	14	Portsmouth
15	Sunderland	15	Blackburn Rovers
16	Fulham	16	Sunderland
17	West Bromwich Albion	17	Hull City
18	Wigan Athletic	18	Newcastle United
19	Hull City	19	Middlesbrough
20	Stoke City	20	West Bromwich Albion

Some observations. First of all, the seers didn't actually do too badly, especially in the top half of the table (on the other hand, picking the top four teams in the Premiership is hardly a chore these days). They even managed to pick exactly the correct spot for Arsenal and Aston Villa! Well done seers! However, they also learned a valuable lesson: Tottenham Hotspur will always disappoint you.

Newcastle contemplate life outside the Premiership

There was less success with the bottom half; none of the teams picked to be relegated actually were. Fulham, Stoke, and Wigan all greatly exceeded everybody's expectations, and nobody really foresaw Newcastle's annus horribilis. Of the three teams selected by the seers to go down, Hull City actually came closest. They had a wild season; Hull were in the top five early on, and then completely collapsed, only securing safety at Newcastle's expense on the last day of the season.

And what about Millwall? Well, Millwall had a brilliant year, up until the last 20 minutes of it. The Lions finished fifth and qualified for the promotion playoffs, wherein they defeated mighty Leeds United in the first round. With 20 minutes to go in the playoff final against Scunthorpe, Millwall were leading 2-1, but they couldn't hold on and ended up losing 3-2. And so face another season of League 1 football, but this time there will be some big names (Norwich, Southampton, Charlton, and - heh,heh - Leeds) to keep us company.

Harris puts Millwall in front against Leeds

Next time: How did we do with Serie A?

We Have Been Awarded

A Kreativ Blogger Award has come our way courtesy of Chorus! Thank you, thank you!

*waves to crowd, gives long tedious speech*

And so, down to business! First of all, I must list 7 things that I love:

• Most sports, but especially soccer, hockey, and baseball.
  
  
  View Larger Map
  
  
• Cats!
  
  
  
  
• Seafood!
  
  
  
  
• Like the song says, giant squids (this is possibly related to the item immediately above)!
  
  
  
  
• The poems of Catullus
  
  
  
  
• Italy, especially the South. And the food...
  
  
  
  
• Ancient Romans
  
  

By no means a complete list, but there you go! And now, to pass on the award to 7 other deserving blogs! Well, most of the blogs that I would normally pick have already been tagged with this, so I'm only going with two right now, with an option to add more later:

EvilElitest
Pack Animal Existance

Sports Update

A little ago, it was observed that things were going rather bizarrely well in the sports world. Time, then, to check back, and see if the momentum has been maintained!

Back on October 18th, we wrote: "Millwall have lost exactly once since August, and are sitting a comfortable third. Today they beat Leeds United, something that has not happened in almost 20 years." Millwall have stumbled a little bit in the last couple of games, but are still sitting a comfortable third, only five points off the league lead. Tomorrow's match, at home against a struggling Yeovil Town, is pretty a must-win, though.

We wrote: "Napoli are leading Serie A, having just beaten Juventus (ok, there are teams right behind them with games in hand, so they'll likely be overtaken tomorrow, but still...)." Napoli have slipped to fifth in Serie A, not that there's anything particularly wrong with that. In fact, it's one spot better than I had them predicted to finish! So far, they've managed to defeat Juventus and Fiorentina, but lost (narrowly) to both the Milan sides.

Finally, we observed: "The Edmonton Oilers are 3-0-0, and in all three of those wins they've successfully defended a 1-goal lead. Furthermore, their big off-season acquisitions, Mssrs. Cole and Visnovsky, already have 3 goals between them. Oh, and their power-play is scoring goals too." It would be very easy to get all pessimistic here, because the Oilers have seemingly fallen off after their quick start to the season. They're currently 10th in the Western Conference, in other words out of the playoff picture at the moment. However... the Oilers are three points better than they were last season at this point, and the general sense is that things are coming together. Hemsky is putting up a point a game, more or less, and the powerplay for once is productive. The three-headed goalie monster has settled down a bit, with Dwayne Roloson cementing himself in place as the #1 guy. Now, if the penalty-killing were to improve, and Sam Gagner and Erik Cole were to boost their offensive numbers a bit, all would be well. As it is, there's reason for cautious optimism.

I'm Scared

Ok now, let's continue the circumstances:

• The Edmonton Oilers are 3-0-0, and in all three of those wins they've successfully defended a 1-goal lead. Furthermore, their big off-season acquisitions, Mssrs. Cole and Visnovsky, already have 3 goals between them. Oh, and their power-play is scoring goals too.
  
• Napoli are leading Serie A, having just beaten Juventus (ok, there are teams right behind them with games in hand, so they'll likely be overtaken tomorrow, but still...).
  
• Millwall have lost exactly once since August, and are sitting a comfortable third. Today they beat Leeds United, something that has not happened in almost 20 years.

Yup, we're definitely through the looking-glass here...

September 11th

September 11th, 2001, was a Tuesday. I remember this quite well, since back in them days Tuesday evening was D&D night, chez The Stealthy Dachshund (the world is a greatly changed place; D&D night is now Monday, and, while it is still at The Stealthy Dachshund's place, that place is now a different place, if you see what I mean). In the early afternoon, the somewhat sheepish e-mails started flying about: "So, um, what with World War III and everything, are we still gaming tonight?" Well, the chili was already cooking (that particular evening also being Chili Night), so it was eventually decided that D&D night would go ahead as planned, and so it did, with occasional breaks to check up on the latest breaking news.

The other personal memory I have of that day involved keeping up with events. I was at work, and it was, of course, nearly impossible to access any of the web sites for the major news services. I ended up getting most of my information about what was going on from the messageboards at one of the Millwall fan websites; people were watching the BBC's coverage of the attacks on television, and posting what they were seeing. Recently, that messageboard looked like it was going to shut down, prompting a fair amount of reminiscing amongst the longer-serving members. Turns out that I wasn't the only one who relied on the board for news that day.

Anyway, one gentle request of the people both here and to the south of us, as we head forth to exercise the franchise in the coming months: could we please not elect the people who made, and continue to make, political hay out of the events of September 11, 2001? Thanks.

Footie Season!

Well, they're underway in England (and some other leagues, too!), or at least the lower divisions are. Millwall dropped their first match, 4-3 away to Oldham, much to the surprise of nobody. What was a bit surprising was that the Lions were leading an expected-to-be-very-good Oldham side 3-1 with 20 minutes to go. Perhaps there is hope for the season after all!

And what can we expect when the Premiership boys get going in a week or so? Go to it, Kobold seers (and we'll try to forget about the whole Mets-Tigers unpleasantness from awhile back):

• First of all, it's reasonable to suppose that the big four (Manchester United, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Arsenal) will divy up the four Champions League spots among themselves. Arsenal, at this moment, appear to be the weakest of that lot (sorry, CR!), and will probably be looking over their shoulders at possible top-4 interlopers like Everton, Aston Villa, and Tottenham Hotspur. Manchester City could nose their way in as well.
  
• Expect a lot of attention to be paid to Hull City A.F.C., newly arrived in the top division for the first time in their 104 years of existence. It's an excellent feel-good story, particularly given that a mere ten years ago they were struggling at the very bottom of the entire League, and nearly folded. Prior to this season, they were primarily known for wearing a bizarre tiger-striped kit during the '92-'93 season.
  
  
  Gaaaaah!
  
  Sadly, their stay in the Premiership is likely to be a short one. Expect them to be relegated, along with Wigan and fellow new arrivals Stoke City.
  
• Here, then, is a reasonable expectation of what the final table will look like come next May:
  
  

  1	Chelsea
  2	Manchester United
  3	Liverpool
  4	Arsenal
  5	Tottenham Hotspur
  6	Aston Villa
  7	Everton
  8	Manchester City
  9	Portsmouth
  10	Newcastle
  11	West Ham United
  12	Bolton Wanderers
  13	Blackburn
  14	Middlesbrough
  15	Sunderland
  16	Fulham
  17	West Bromwich Albion
  18	Wigan Athletic
  19	Hull City
  20	Stoke City

  
  
  
• Finally, moving away the Premiership (a looooong way away), let us spare a moment to mourn the passing of Halifax Town Football Club. The luck finally ran out for the team that was once so poor it couldn't afford to feed the clubhouse cat, let alone pay the players (this situation was swiftly rectified by the team's supporters, who donated somewhat in excess of a ton of cat food, along with almost no actual money). They went out with a bit of a bang, overcoming a 10-point penalty for begin broke to avoid relegation from the Conference National Division (basically the 5th division of the English league structure. However, the good news is that the team has risen, phoenix-like, from the ashes, and will contest the upcoming season as FC Halifax Town in the Unibond Northern League Divison One (the 8th division, if you will). The cat's opinion of all of this is unrecorded.

'Tis That Time Again...

More on the upcoming season tomorrow!